♥ agnes n :)

identity

2012-01-29T16:48:00.002+08:00

This morning when I made my way to yck MRT station, I noticed a mysterious-looking blue guy lurking around the pillars of the void deck near my house. Didn't really pay much attention to him 'cos I was busy fiddling with my phone. And then this guy jumped from behind the pillar and did a dramatic "BOO!" at me...and it's Jiasheng! What a surprise and it's super coincidental! Anyway I don't want to friend him already 'cos he remembered my bday wrongly. JUST KIDDING. >:D

Yup, went to church for BMI and Justin came as well! So proud of him! ^^ Cleaned the toilets (note the plural!) with Elysia and others and I got the job I like - cleaning the mirrors, sinks and walls. It's yet another enjoyable experience and Huan Wei is right - it's a chance to humble ourselves and when we do that, we can really go far in life. :)

I must say doing chores is an excellent time to reflect on oneself. I've come to realise how important to know who you really are, what living principles guide your life, what your core values are and what you are convicted in. Who are you? What do you believe in? What are your goals and dreams? What are your thoughts and views? What is your stand? And that's when it hit me - I don't know myself very well. Other than having one or two living principles, I've been blindly following other people's footsteps. I hardly stood up for myself in my life, except for twice last year, both involving the same person and making completely opposite decisions.

So.....what are my living principles, some may ask. Well, I can only think of two which I've been subconsciously allowing to guide my life:

#1: Don't hesitate to make others happy when it's within my means.

I think my purpose in life is to make people around me happy. Currently suck at it though (due to some issues) but I'm working on it!

#2: Always give others the benefit of doubt whenever I can.

People who are close to me/know me well will understand what I mean by this. Somehow most of the time, I will have the "positive perspective" in situations/circumstances. Most common example will be when people reply my texts late. I'll always assume that they're busy/in a shower/battery is flat/on the phone/any other logical explanation. (Now who says making assumptions is always fatal? ^^) Giving others the BOD can prevent many misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. And it's not considered "self-deceiving" 'cos it's a higher level than that (in my opinion).

I've also discovered something new about myself: I'm very different in the virtual and real world. Which is a bit tricky 'cos my words (as in what I blog) will tend to contradict my actions in real life. I portray myself very differently online - more expressive, more transparent about what's going on inside and around me, and a little more fearless - while in reality, I'm pretty conservative and quiet (around people I don't know very well and sometimes even in front of close friends) and I'll try to be nice to everyone (or at the very least not offend anyone). Somehow there will always be people who think I'm two-faced 'cos my blog's full of nasty things but I'm actually an okay person in real life! I guess I'm really different from normal people. No wonder even I myself find it hard to understand myself. :/

And I believe this fact about me is what landed myself in the mess I'm in now - my current reputation causes my words to no longer have much value. I think people find it hard to decide whether to believe what I write on my blog, or my mannerisms they witness in real life. I myself get confused of what my identity is sometimes, which is definitely a serious crisis. D:

I admire those people who know who they truly are, what they want in life. Those who have the courage to do everything in their life and not worry because they know they're being themselves. Those who are so definite of what make up themselves, what's going on within them. I'm in the midst of discovering myself and I really hope that as I go through various trials and tribulations in life, I'm able to better understand myself and who I am.

It's really important to know yourself so that when problems or troubles arise, you won't forget your identity and will stay true to yourself and your convictions. You will be able to make decisions that come from yourself and not from others, which means that you'll be able to stand for yourself!

I'm not trying to sound deep in this entry; it's partially based on my reflections I have today while scrubbing the toilets, and partly inspired by Bishop Bronner's recent tweets. I shall end this post by quoting Bishop Bronner: "Unless you stand for something, you will fall for anything.".

Do you know who you are? :)

初七人日

2012-01-29T11:06:00.003+08:00

*Updated!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE! :D

And thank you to my friends who have been constantly cheering me on. One asked me for a date after work while the other initiated a convo when I needed someone to chat with, knows my bday's coming (stalkerrr) and asked me what I want. You guys know who you are, so rock on and stay awesome. :)

emo elmo on the red train

2012-01-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

I was feeling quite shitty on my train ride to Paya Lebar 'cos I thought I would be going church alone...who knew Jessica and Cedric caught the same circle line train as me! Haha and I think I wore the red elmo shirt on the wrong day; stood beside the SMRT personnel who were wearing red shirts. -_- Boo hoo.

Anyways on the train, I was just thinking thinking thinking: crap, there's a low chance that my wish will be realised in time, but boy, I was so wrong. Apparently after praying for months, God moved and He answered my prayers today. :'> Thank you God. It's the best gift I've received yet. :)

Yup, and so I was happy for the rest of the day. Except for- oh never mind. I'm still happy. ^^

And yesss I just befamily-ed someone who has the awesome surname "ng", so it further improved my mood. Woohoo :D

Kay I shall stop self-highing and go to bed now. Gotta wake up in time for BMI tomorrow! Good night folks. ^^

tireddd and draineddd

2012-01-28T12:12:00.003+08:00

Still can't (really) get over the trauma and terror of receiving those texts. Arrrgh, why must my phone have selective functionality? I would rather much not receive those texts at all. They spook me out. ><

Gosh. Good things always happen right before I turn one year older. -_-

Anyway, I'm so tireddd that I feel like nua-ing in bed and do absolutely nothing this weekend. Don't know why I'm so drained despite having had a 3-day work week and quite a light workload at work. Trying to get my life in order but everything's just so harddd. There are so many uncertainties brewing in my life and it sucks that I don't seem to have control in anything. One thing that's in order is GRANDPA'S DISCHARGED FROM HOSPITAL! Woohoo I bullied him by stuffing a stack of notes in his angbao; he took a while to finish counting them. ^^v

Aww. It felt nice to hear his laughter (?) 'cos of the thickness of the cash. Heh. :D

One down, so many more to go on my wishlist. I don't want this weekend to be over~~ D:

2012-01-28T12:09:00.002+08:00

"Even though I pretend that I'd moved on, you'll always be my baby."

So nostalgic.

a quickie

2012-01-26T20:13:00.004+08:00

Phewww I made it. Boy, it's harder than I think it is, to not just hide the lies but to also say the truth.

Anyway, I've changed my target from galaxy 7.7 --> branded wallet --> coach bag --> galaxy 7.7 --> galaxy note!! Gotta wait for 2 more months 'cos I don't wanna spend > earn. Wanted to aim for a LV wallet (how ambitious!) but oh well, I decided that will be my 21st birthday present. Which means I'll have 2 more years to save up haha!

I need a new phoneeee gosh can't wait to fulfill my bf so that I can get the stuff I want after that! ^^

m1 wait for meeee!! Don't change those price plans yet! >< And please stock up your note so that I can get it when the time comes. ;)

Last thing: STOP ASKING ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I swear if this goes on, I'll hire one every chinese new year. The angpaos he gets shall be his salary.

Maybe I'll just take a step back

2012-01-23T22:55:00.003+08:00

I can't help feeling it's me despite knowing how fatal making assumptions is. Still, I can't take any risk and shall try my best to reduce the hurt you're feeling.

I don't want you to be in pain. I'll see what I can do..

Hmmm, never mind.

2012-01-23T14:28:00.004+08:00

I've successfully psycho-ed myself to give the bag a miss and just, move on~ After all, I'm not in need of a new bag right now. Going to work extra hard so that I can realise my wish in August - either a new gadget or a super duper expensive bag/wallet which will be bought using solely the money I've earned. Yup, the sense of achievement and satisfaction will be humongous. I can feel a little of it already. Heh. ^^v

Having a purpose definitely gives me more motivation to work. If only I can find a purpose in dieting too. Sigh...

Wait. Or maybe I should spend the money on some other things....like a new phone. ><

Ahhhhh I want my galaxy 7.7! *drools*

I want this nonsense

2012-01-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

Behold, the apple that caught my eye:Don't care what you guys think but I find this print really special! It's a "hand drawn" design which looks more artsy and less auntie than the usual Coach print. Plus the logo in front is so pretty. :) Ahhhh why must it still be so expensive after discount? :'( Crappp I need to control myself. ><

gotta tighten my belt!

2012-01-22T15:44:00.004+08:00

Spent close to 500 bucks this week. That's half of my monthly salary. :O

To be more precise, I spent 27% of the money on myself; the rest went to my family: grandpa, mom, dad, and sis. Okay, this makes me feel less guilty. Heh.

Now.....how am I going to survive till my next pay check? I'm not going to use my sis' idea of eating cup noodles once a week. It's not good for my hair and health at all.

Gosh this is such a meaningless post. :/ Anyway, I'm going to the hospital later! Can't believe I'm going to have reunion with my grandpa at SGH. Feeling so sad for him. :'( Still, can't wait to hand him the cash I'd set aside as a way of thanking him for doting us since young. :'>

stop overthinking (or you're so going to explode..don't say I didn't warn you)

2012-01-22T13:37:00.003+08:00

I must remind myself that if I allow this nonsense to continue, I'm stooping to your level. And I won't ever let myself do that.

Get a life, period.

Elena-ish

2012-01-22T11:47:00.002+08:00

I can never forget how Elena-ish I felt when I was struggling with my feelings... Almost teared up when I read Cherlynn's entry which was excellently written by the way. I can relate to 90% of its content ahhhhh why did I have to feel this way? :(

sorry sorry sorry sorry

2012-01-21T17:49:00.003+08:00

First things first, I'm sorry Andre for (1) deciding not to go to Bukit Timah at the last minute; and (2) not replying your text 'cos my phone couldn't receive any. T_T I sincerely apologise and I'm not going to give any excuses 'cos it's really my bad. This decision I made involved several considerations, not just the one I mentioned in my text. Still, thank God for the wonderful weather this morning and early afternoon so that you guys could have maximum fun! So happy for you guys! :'>

Yup, so......I spent my day scrubbing and cleaning up my room in prep for CNY. Apparently it's an unofficial "clean up day" for my family today so I was on the move since 10am. :/ Swept the floor, scrubbed and washed my blue backpack, wiped the bedroom walls from ceiling to floor and part of the floor, and changed the bed linen (with Derrick's help). I'm feeling pretty accomplished now and I'm glad that at the very least, I made myself useful at home. ^^v

Still feeling upset about not going for the BT climb though. :( It's one of the many times that I 错过 the cooking by aloy and cedric! I remember there's one cg when both of them cooked (aloy cooked minestrone soup!!) and I wasn't there too. *sobs*

One last thing - God really goes all the way out to cut down my expenses. I wanted to go out to shop for shoes but I can't 'cos of the heavy rain now. Haha, I made raining sound like a good thing. Anyway it's about perspective, right? ^^

pissed

2012-01-21T00:18:00.005+08:00

I'm especially pissed at you today (even though we didn't meet) 'cos all those words that you'd said/texted and tweets that you'd tweeted came rushing back into my brain. I was once again reminded of how much I hate you for what you'd done, what you'd said. Nonetheless, I'd said my piece (elsewhere) and from now on, I wouldn't waste my time blogging about you anymore. I'm moving on.

Update: Thanks for letting me know that such function exists on tumblr. After all, I'm newer to tumblr than you.

Update: Oops. Made an error in the above paragraph. I don't hate you; "hate" is too strong a word. I guess I more of hate your words, which I think it's just as bad. Whatever. Typed this just for clarification's sake.

you make me wet (once again)

2012-01-19T21:20:00.003+08:00

It's quite an eventful day today; though it's Day 1 without Audrey and Day 2 without JX in office. :( Finished my work for the next 3 days within 2 hours (^^)v...so I helped to print (more) notices while Nora helped Audrey with her work while she's on leave. Kind of like this arrangement 'cos it's super cool when the ADAs work as a team and help each other out. :)

I find myself looking forward to lunch break, not just because it provides a valid excuse (oxymoron! whatever.) to pig out, but also it's enjoyable listening to my meal buddies (aka a bunch of uncles lol) talk about their work. Plus I have the time to quieten down and read my Bible after my meal. :) Started reading Proverbs on monday and I'm currently at chapter 28! :D

Today's lunch break was the most epic ever. Mr Lim was talking about how it would rain today and blah blah blah. Just after we finished eating, it started drizzling and we didn't have umbrellas with us. Johnny and I went "Mr Limmmmm~!"+ *pek cek face* and he replied "the news reported that there will be thunderstorm too!". -_-

After lunch, Raymond walked off in another direction to buy stuff while Mr Lim walked towards where we came from. Johnny and I were stuck in the middle and I decided to return back to office first (aka follow Mr Lim). Johnny was like "wah! pangseh Raymond ah?!" and he stayed behind to wait for Raymond (how nice! ^^). On our way back, it rained even heavier and we had to run in the heavy downpour. I was wearing slippers and a tight skirt which made running really challenging. I was laughing super hard (both at how despo we were and the way Mr Lim ran) which worsened my weak stamina + hindered my run. Eventually Mr Lim outran me and reached the annex (closest LTA building) before me . T_T

It's not fair! He was wearing pants and leather shoes which were so much easier to run with! Plus he's a sportsman (so as he claimed) even though he's in his fifties (?) which gave him all the more reason to run faster than me. :/

So....we entered INV looking super cui and looking for people to borrow umbrellas from. Azlinda lent her pretty pink girlish umbrella to us and we shared it on our way back to the main building. Mr Lim sang "ji kee sio ho sua" which was uber funny 'cos it's a love song! Anyway Mdm Koh was super cute when she asked why the oldest and the youngest could run back but the supposedly "stronger" middle-aged men couldn't. xD Oh, Mr Lim's super nice to walk back to fetch umbrellas for R and J + return Azlinda's umbrella! Thanks Mr Lim! ^^

The adventures didn't end here. While printing notices, I came across a name which is......funny. Not funny funny, just pure amusing. Imagine the name of a person you love and that of a person you loathe, two in one with exact same spelling (and not just sounding the same). When I saw it, I literally LOLed and couldn't contain my laughter for at least 20 seconds. It's damn hilarious, trust me. I find it quite unbelievable 'cos the above mentioned person I loathe has a unique spelling for his name, yet this 61 year old cabby's name shares the same spelling. Pretty amazing, isn't it?

Never mind...I just find it simply amusing. Though I admit I was quite shocked when I first saw the name. Too bad I can't screenshot it, if not I will definitely upload it on Tumblr. ^^

Oh, I love my bus ride home. The driver's superb, I tell ya. He sped past one bus stop which made all the passengers aboard (including me) either o.o or :O. Of course, those adults waiting at the bus stop were stunned too. Poor things.

My goodness, tomorrow's Friday which means it's BRAS BASAH and BUGIS after work! It's miraculous that both places are within walking distance (< 9mins walk) from each other. I was so dumb to think of walking to BB station + taking train from BB > DG > CH > Bugis when I can actually walk there. -_-

Heart-breaking news: yc's not joining us for steamboat nor BT climb. :( aww man. :( I wanted to take pictures with the Ngs lol.

2012-01-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

Suddenly feel very inspired and also the urge to sign up....oh my goodness, if I do, can we mug together just like what we did last year? hahaha never mind, I should stop dreaming. :x

Gosh, I need to earn+save up for my $1K. I think I'm going to beg my deputy manager to extend my employment period, since Audrey said ADA is short-handed. ^^v Anyway, I wonder where I'm going to sit in the office after 6 Feb, since Zaida (the staff I'm covering for now) will be back by then. That means I will be semi-jobless and will be reduced to doing the laborious (returning and retrieving files) and brainless (printing and updating of one kind of file) which I utterly dreaddd. D:

Work wasn't as smooth-flowing today but I was proud to spot a major loophole while printing notices for last year's files. ^^v It definitely felt weird to not have JX in the office (lucky guy's on leave for 2 days, baking CNY goodies! :O) and I was almost forgotten by Mr Lim to be asked for lunch! I shall pardon him 'cos he treated me lunch after that. :D I think I should request to go Upper Thomson for lunch 'cos since I joined LTA, I was being treated every single time I went there. :O Prata, Thai food, dumpling noodles, tau huay, A1 porridge....that's 5 times! :O I have the best colleagues, seriously. :D

Rushed to SGH after work and super duper glad that grandpa's transferred from ICU to a normal ward shortly after I reached. :) He looked really energised and seeing him propping his leg up #likeaboss set my heart at ease. Was so damn worried when mom told me he was in a coma few days ago. D:

Anyway, my cousin Zirui and I were chatting with him and she told him we came from work. Grandpa was super pleased and said things like "wah will have a lot of money" and "don't need give me a lot, just give me a little" (cute as usual). He got so excited that his heartbeat increased from 80+ to 155! :O Thank goodness he calmed down after that. *wipes imaginary sweat*

Now I can reconsider going for CG reunion dinner on friday....was afraid that I won't have the mood to "celebrate" since there won't be a cause to if he's still in critical condition. :x

Crap, I'm craving for Astons now. D: Pan-fried halibut! Crab cakes! King salmon steak! Mega drools :D:D:D

crippled

2012-01-17T20:20:00.003+08:00

“既来之，则安之。” (aka "take things as they come") - What I learned from watching the 7pm show on channel 8.

Yeeeeeeah, I know that but it's so hard. Especially since "things" have already "come" and there's no way I can run. Feeling really shagged nowadays even though workload in the office stayed the same. I guess I was mentally and emotionally occupied so I got myself really worn out. Tried listening to songs and I almost cried when those emo ones like “我爱他” by 叮噹 and "How to break a heart" by Westlife were playing. Felt equally awful when those slightly more cheerful ones were playing, like "Where we are" by Westlife ('cos of the line "what can tear us apart?"). Didn't even dare to play "The Saltwater Room" by Fireflies 'cos I know I would confirm cry wtf. Thank goodness I have a few Praise and Worship songs in my phone so I listened to them on repeat. (Y) JX was doing 比手画脚 in the background and mouthing words, faking that he's trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear 'cos of my headphones. LOL nice try dude, but it made me laugh, so...thanks a lot. :)

Oh, my toes are in slightly better shape and I'm not limping around as badly now. ^^v They still kind of hurt though and I can't help feeling crippled arrrgh! Hate the discomfort but I have to force myself to bear with it.

Actually, sometimes I'm thankful that it could hurt so much that it freed my mind of the negative emo thoughts, as all I could feel was the pain from my toes and nothing else. Still, it can't entirely erase the pain of having a great loss in my life.

Shit. I miss you so much.

2012-01-16T23:20:00.003+08:00

Finished my photo collages but they can't be uploaded/hosted in their actual pixels so they look terribly ugly and squashed GAHHHHHHH why must this happen to me. T_T

Never mind, gonna try again tomorrow.

toma(toes)

2012-01-16T19:55:00.003+08:00

Sucks how I have to take one step at a time, literally.

I have absolutely no idea what happened. How did my toes become swollen like bloated cherry tomatoes? It doesn't make sense 'cos having flat feet is definitely not the cause. Having FF will only cause redness at the inner side of the foot and not this nonsense. The biggest toe on my left foot has torn skin all around the nail, while the one on my right is sore and squishy and bloody and juicy at the same time. Disgusting sight, I swear. Even as I'm lying on my bed typing away, it's still hurting. -_- Had to hold back my tears and screams while struggling to walk in those new black flats to work. Resorted to wearing slippers in office and had to limp around looking so lame and frail. HOW TO CLIMB BUKIT TIMAH LIKE THIS YOU TELL ME?? Roarrrrrr~

I'm damn pissed. And those blisters at the back of my feet are....bloody. Stuck plasters over them and they got squeezed while I wore my flats. Yayyyy the 'juice' and blood stained the plasters and yup, it was NASTY when I peeled them off.

I guess I have to wear slippers to work this week so as to allow my toes to heal. :( It was hard psycho-ing yc to join us for BT outing this saturday, so I cannot excuse myself from this outing just because of those stupid toes. Yes yes yes no matter what happens, even if I need to wear a cast and hop up the hill, I will still go! I'm that determined!

On another note, I have no mood for CNY 'cos grandpa's still in hospital. D: Praying that he will be discharged before CNY, if not it will be meaningless (not talking about the angbaos, you judgey people!). :(

Oh, and I edited my blogskin. See if you can spot the difference. ^^

'cos it pains me when I see you like this

2012-01-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

Would you allow me to be there for you, just like how you were when I needed you? After going through all the drama, we're still friends, aren't we?

Well, would you?

15 january

2012-01-15T15:52:00.002+08:00

deja vu..2 years ago, the same thing happened. why must it always happen right before my birthday? annoying ttm. :/ at least this time round, it isn't as difficult to handle as the previous time....I hope.

it's going to be hard but I would have to try my best. ><

anyway, I like where I am now. :D cozy environment which reminds me of my old house in yishun...same metal gate, similar tiles, even similar table fan...I guess it kind of makes me feel better?

now I know where to go after I suffer a heartbreak. haha.

fast and furious

2012-01-15T11:30:00.002+08:00

I took 12 days to notice it. TWELVE DAYS. Gosh, sometimes I'm so fast that you can't spot me.

Finished 2/3 of what I wanted to do to conclude the adventures I had in 2011. Just a little bit more to go! Then I'll think of my NY resolutions. Yeah, I'm as fast as ever. :/

One more thing - I need a cap. And sunblock. And insect repellent. And walking/trekking shoes. :/

2012-01-14T21:39:00.002+08:00

That macaroon ruined the moment of saying the truth. At least someone knows how I'm really feeling now. Managed to get 2 words out and I guess it's good enough. I won't stop trying; gonna gambette and fight for what I want!!

Btw the macaroon's niceeee. Love the peppermint flavour and the white matches my dress. ^^

PRO

2012-01-14T13:23:00.002+08:00

Gonna roll out a new project - Project Reaching Out (PRO). :D Objective is to reach out to my family and friends (duh~) but I haven't planned much for it yet, which means I have no details to share with you guys. Then again, it's supposed to be a "WOOO~ SURPRISE!!" kind of thing so I guess I wouldn't blog about it until I see the desired results. Valentine's Day is coming so I guess it's a great time to do something for my loved ones...now how thoughtful am I? Can't be helped; I'm just so awesome. ^^v

God moves

2012-01-14T12:44:00.003+08:00

Judging from when it happened, where it's going to take place and the way it happened, I believe it's engineered by God. I've been praying for having enough in my life - just enough to fill my stomach, just enough to get the things I need (and not want), just enough to survive one more day...for I don't need abundance nor extravagance in my life. God has been moving in my life because somehow things always happen so timely that they surprise me - to date, I've been treated to lunch 6 times by my colleagues, all 6 times when I was short of cash, either because I've stopped taking allowance from my parents and I'm not given my pay yet, or I'm saving up for my T or O. I'm really thankful that God used the people around me to help me get by so that I didn't have to sacrifice living while trying to give my best to Him. I can remember every single treat given by them - prata house, thai food, vegetarian hor fun x2, char kway teow with otah, herbal soup. What really touched me was they offered to pay without me having to ask for it (as if I would have the cheek to ask haha) and they were all so nice and made it seem as though I'm entitled to these treats in the first place. :O

And that's not all. How about the fact that 3 of my shoes spoiled within a month and I bought a new pair of shoes for work + won 2 pairs from Budget Barbie yesterday, which means the net balance is 0 = just enough? It doesn't make sense at all because it's my first time registering for a clicknetwork account and commenting on her video, and my comment was merely 4 lines long and probably the most boring one. The time I won the shoes was the time I needed them the most (aka asap) and this is not the only thing that shocked me. How about the place to collect the prize being so accessible from my workplace? My workplace is so ulu, yet it has a direct bus to reach there. :O Everything was packaged in such a way that it's timely and at the same time, convenient for me. I'm tearing up as I type all these, because God, I don't understand Your ways. I don't understand why You showered me with so much love; why I deserve all these from You. I can never thank you enough, God. I believe that You have made great plans in my life, and I'm excited for what You have in stored for me. :)

finally, some humans in my life

2012-01-13T23:40:00.002+08:00

Rushed to school after work today and YES I MADE IT BEFORE FIVE PM!! Reached the guard post at 4.55pm. (Y) Collected my stuff at GO (with VP and HOD looking at me as though I'm an intruder *oops*) and went to the cats' usual hangout spot but they're nowhere in sight. D: Is it that they can't stand the smell of fresh coat of paint at the art gallery or what? So disappointed that all I could recognise (other than the security lady and the tutors) was that bitch. Oh well, 她化成灰我都能认出。:/

Anyway, I renewed my popular membership card at northpoint and I scammed popular with my [expired] student pass. 15 bucks for 3 years yesssss ^^v Was so tempted to get the agnes b christmas edition collection book which comes with a free canvas bag *screams* but the material doesn't feel good and the design on the bag itself looks worse than what's shown on the cover. Wanna buy the book by 幾米 but it's close to $40 *heart breaks* so I psycho-ed myself not to buy (by telling myself how sucky the synopsis is).

Met up with Elysia at Cotton On and there were some really nice stuff in there....like those sheer blouses which seem to be a trend now! However I wasn't interested in those monotone ones; in fact I found those with unusual patterns and polka dots really interesting! Doubt I can pull them off though 'cos I don't have the figure *sighhhhhh*. D:

So we went to J8 to meet up with the rest of the peeps and explored the outlet there. Took a touristy photo just for fun:

(And yes, now I love fridays 'cos not only does work end half hour earlier, it's legal to wear Cotton On tees to work 'cos it's dressing down day! *TEEHEE* ^^v)

Yuebin and Ian joined us shortly after at Isetan while Elysia was trying to find shoes that I can wear to work with. 3 of mine spoilt within a month; one of them was the white flats with black bow which I wore almost all the time. :'( Wore my mom's forsaken sandals to work today (which I doubt it's allowed but 70% of the people in my division weren't in office today anyway) and I got blisters. :( Seriously, why is it so damn hard to get decent footwear for flat feet peeps like me?! RAHHHHH. I'm so annoyed by how limited the range of shoes that I can wear is. >:/

Yuebin suggested going Bata to hunt for shoes and I was skeptical; kept rejecting the idea of going to a shop that I didn't step in since primary school. BUT, she's awesome because she showed me a pair of black flats with a twisted bow which is 1) SO ME 'cos I adoreeee bows; 2) black and flat, perfect for work; and 3) within my budget. I can't ask for anything more 'cos it was comfy when I tried it and Bata's sort-of reputable for decent quality shoes, right? So yup, I let the blue card do the magic and *poof!* I can say goodbye to those horrible blisters! :D

We did more nonsense stuff like taking touristy photo at some atas shop:

(we bent down to take this shot 'cos the mirror was short and positioned quite low :/)

and photo burst at some eating corner where we had dinner and Cedric joined us a while later:

(angry for missing the intake dateline for SOM...and not knowing that there's vocals too. T_T

side note: I wanted to do an angry face but I was laughing when Elysia hit the snap button. xD)

(laughing like mad at I-forgot-what-reason.)

Totally buay paiseh 地拍。:O Ian shared about the stories he heard in army and we literally LOLed and made [other customers'] heads turn! But some stories were really good, gosh. He made army sound so fun compared to working and schooling! :O

Other adventures for tonight include walking around the "food street" in the middle of J8 with Elysia very strategically positioning herself to get free samples; she looked so happy when she got the smiley rock candy to try FOC. xD We spent quite some time in 2 shops: tracyeinny and double index. They have really lovely clothes but all so pricey (yes anything more than $25 is considered pricey for my pockets) so it's more of a look-and-leave kinda thing. :( Still, it was enjoyable just by looking at them. :'>

Can't believe nobody informed me of the HPV outing but then again, I would be working so I would still have to say no. And nobody told me there's a PU outing too! Elysia thought I couldn't cycle so she didn't ask me. :O Oh well, one's gotta give outings a miss to save money, so I guess I will have to be anti-social for a while. :/

2012-01-11T22:59:00.004+08:00

I know I'm being a bitch by not practising what I preach, but can't you give me a choice and cut me some slack? I don't go for something just because others do; in fact I did go despite having no one else to go with before. -_-

I feel so damn bloody useless. Can't bloody speak up for myself.

2012-01-11T22:08:00.002+08:00

One of the biggest regrets I had in 2011 was not spending your birthday with you...I guess I have no license to ask if you would want to celebrate mine with me this year. :(

77.88m above sea level, anyone?

Food therapy for the emotional soul

2012-01-10T19:44:00.006+08:00

Astons! Tau Huay! You Tiao! :D Having all 3 in a meal is just so not me....but I did it! I finally live up to the name my mom calls me - "kong long kia" (dinosaur kid). Can't believe my hearty appetite is back. :D

Really thank you JX for sharing the chicken&sausage combo with me (and hence the cost ^^) and also for the tau huay and you tiao treat. I think you'll make a fine caretaker haha! >:D

My mood was screwed up today 'cos of various reasons, both work and non-work related. Sometimes I question myself if I'm trying too hard.....Am I? Would people prefer it if I stop doing certain things? Am I actually redundant in others' lives? 在你眼里我是不是可有可无？Yup, I felt worthless though nothing much actually happened. :/ I guess I tend to romanticize situations and get so involved in my own fantasies that I forget they don't exist, hence ending up hurting my own feelings. -_-

Thank goodness I have awesome colleagues who made me feel a tiny wee bit better by cracking jokes and making small talk with me. Mr Lim's joke is the most imba one: only short people should respond when someone calls "oi!". Get it? GET IT?? Hokkien for 'short' sounds like 'oi' (actually it is)! Really give a thumbs-up for this one. (Y)

Also enjoyed my chit-chat with Jusri and Fauzi about JC and uni. They asked me what's H1 and I replied "half of H2" and they laughed damn loudly. :O Then Jusri said "thanks for your explanation" and only then did I realise they didn't get it. ><

There's also JX and Mr Lim, the pair who keeps teasing me. >< But their combo of jokes and kajiao-ing never fail to make me laugh. :)

Oh! Fauzi suggested I go do PR-related work 'cos I smile a lot. Didn't expect him to notice that. :O Thank you thank you but I won't consider 'cos I hate humans. >:D

Oh man...I hope my pay will come quick quick so that I can carry out my plans! Ka ging ka ging! <---Actually chanted this in my head while working today....then I switched to "ka meh ka meh!" (teochew). ><

15 slack sentences

2012-01-09T20:44:00.002+08:00

Cold swiss rolls for breakfast. Stomach started feeling like it's getting punched and pierced at the same time. (It's against the law of nature to get stomachache and cramps at the same time!) Ran to the washroom for umpteen times until Mr Lim gave me the Little Green Pill which cured my diarrhea (?). Forgot to call JX to help me buy lunch; slept in office for half an hour. Went out to get lunch myself and wasted 3 minutes deciding if I should jaywalk or walk to the nearest pedestrian crossing (which was >100m away). Was about to jaywalk after seeing the road was clear when the rain came pouring down heavily and got drenched. -_- Bought fish slice porridge with an approving nod from JX. Work was so much easier and smoother without shit happening. Mr Lim's funny as ever to keep kajiaoing people. Should have challenged him to take a picture of us at the bus stop that day (JUST KIDDING). Stomach's still feeling a liiiiiiiittle weird; have no clue what else I can do. Went to the clinic just now and the nurse was so _______ . Paid $38 for cream and flu medicine. :/ Praying that my skin inflammation will heal in time for CNY!

photo moments

2012-01-08T12:23:00.005+08:00

Revisiting photoshop after one year! Gosh, this is when I regret not taking many photos in 2011 :'( Still, I'm going to give it my best shot. :D

2012 - Year of Order

2012-01-07T21:44:00.005+08:00

Took a step of faith today and went for the first prayer meeting of the year! :D That reminds me - the swiss chocolate from Ian is still hidden somewhere in my bag :O Anyway, I need to recommit myself spiritually so as to allow growth! And I really need to get my life in order; have not been leading it the right way so it's time to restore it (aka having standard meals/eating on time). Need to stop sacrificing living for the sake of saving money. ><

Money matters aside, I really wanna restore some relationships in my life. Old friends, newer friends, colleagues, family....there are quite a few ruined ones and I really wanna patch things up. Thought of a brilliant idea to do something nice for all of them but 我还“欠东风”...need to gambette and hwaiting and jiayou! I guess it's time for stationery shopping after a hiatus of around 18 days? ^^

I don't know about you guys, but I find great joy in placing others before myself. Spending on things for others and not for myself. Investing time in others and less in my sleep/rest. Just doing stuff to make others happy or let them have an easier time can make me really really happy. :) I know this paragraph has no link to the above, but I suddenly have the urge to say all these. I find that my life is more fulfilled and purposeful when I live for others, after I grow from selfish to selfless. I find it rewarding when I love others in my ways which bring smiles on their faces and gestures of appreciation. Sometimes we need to stop thinking about our own problems, look up, and see if there are others who are in need of help more than we do. Learn to offer a helping hand when you can. Offer to help to make others' work easier/ smoother. I know this is old, but help others when they need it so that when it's your turn to seek help, it will be given to you.

I guess what stirred me to blog the above is perhaps my supervisor and her kind words. Her encouragement motivates me to work even harder (with wisdom) and I felt so touched when she told me she likes my working attitude and performance! :'D I guess I'm really cut out to do admin work, huh? ;)

And one thing - she settled my OT pay already! I could claim paid leave for the previous leave I took + extra 1.5 hours of paid leave leftover and to be claimed by the end of employment. Gonna use it next friday (friday the 13th! *gulps*) so that I can reach school (yes, school!) before 5pm to collect my award :D Which means I'll be spending the special days in office..but it's okay. I'm sure it will be fun on both days with those witty wacky kiddish uncles. ^^

I need shoessss 'cos most of them either fell apart or became loose! Need to go shopping for cheap shoes soon! Or should I try winning some? Heh heh. ;)

2012-01-07T11:37:00.002+08:00

Nooooooo it's a freaking huge MISUNDERSTANDING; a misinterpretation of my text. Who says it's like that? Just because he said it that way and you believed him? What the crap? I bet you don't know that he hated me there and then, so maybe he wanted me to look bad by saying that? I don't know. I didn't lie; you guys just didn't know the truth because I didn't make time to explain it (which is my bad). Yup I was selfish to go somewhere else instead of studying with you, but that doesn't mean I lied, does it? I can be blamed for anything EXCEPT the lying part. Please give me a chance to explain myself and not let this douchebag ruin our 6 years of friendship. D:

2012-01-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

Why do I keep reblogging photos of stunning heels and stilettos and boots when I can't wear neither of these pretty footwear? I guess for this case, I have to agree with the ~~guys~~ men that I "不需要拥有；可以欣赏就够了".

Anyway, I wish time will freeze on 29th Jan. Or 28th. I don't mind on the 27th too. I don't think I'm ready to turn 19. Responsibilities increase exponentially as we age and I don't think I can handle them yet. I guess I'm feeling quite shagged today (despite not doing much work heh) which explains this emo post. My goodness I have so many wishes but I doubt I can ever fulfill them :/

I didn't achieve much to date which means there's not much of a cause of celebration anyway. :/ Shit why am I blogging shitty stuff with 7 topic sentences in a paragraph. arrrgh I hate my growling stomach.

2012-01-06T22:59:00.004+08:00

Oh no, am I supposed to feel anything? What if I do but I don't at the same time? Well, I'm not a fan of it so I shouldn't feel affected by it, right? Heh.

Enjoyed myself in my own galaxy today. I know you're reading this, so.....Thank you so much! It's really very nice (and bold) of you to entrust it into my hands. :'>

One more thing: Get well soon grandpa!! Hope it doesn't hurt. :(

2012-01-05T21:24:00.003+08:00

I know I've been missing a lot of fun, AND going to miss out even more, still....I NEED TO CONTROL MY EXPENSES! ROARRRR~

To sort-of console myself, I shall keep telling myself that I won't die from not going out and have fun with the other people. Self-psycho usually works for me, but I'm not sure if it will this time. D:

Anyway, we're suppose to sacrifice luxury, right? (Yes, self-psycho begins here.) Hate to say this but I think that applies more for others; I don't need people to tell me that. Instead, I need people to tell me not to sacrifice living. >< Kind of glad that I have people who keep psycho-ing me to eat. Right, JX? ;)

I'm considering going vegetarian for lunch every day. Cheap[er] and good and no meat. Niceeeee. :D

Okay whatever I go emo now BYE.

all dolled up for the new year

2012-01-05T20:27:00.006+08:00

After blogging so many emo entries, it's time for something more cheerful and "bo liao"! :D Gonna show off how I'd beautified my work desk to welcome the new year! :D

First off, something less chio:

My mini snack bar - reason why I have the potential to gain extra pounds.

They're leftover chocolate and candy from my colleagues and friends given during Christmas!

让我最感动的就是John的Hershey's巧克力！I remembered how I was struggling between buying and not buying one for myself while shopping for Christmas presents at NTUC...and I decided not to spend money on myself so I gave it a miss. 2 days later, John went around the office giving Hershey's bars! Woohoo he's one of my heroes in office. Really grateful that he stopped most of the calls from diverting to my extension phone (by setting them to divert elsewhere ^^). Awesome DyM :D

My dolled up work space!! :D

It's upsetting that I don't have a desk I can call my own 'cos I'm just a temp staff, covering for another staff (Zaida). So I guess this is the only space available for me to put nonsense decorations, for the rest is taken up by Zaida's belongings. Really love the pinks 'cos seeing pinkish stuff is one of the rare things that can make my day without any effort. :)

Yup, I brought the cup given by the CG poly kids to office 'cos Zaida's stationery holder contains too much......miscellaneous stuff. Need to "filter out" those stationery that I use frequently. ><

Pretty "have faith" board given by the CG as well! :D

I reckoned I should hang it somewhere that my eyes will be open for 8 hours, instead of above my bed where I'll have my eyes shut for the same duration. ^^v

Stuck the "Prepare" sticker to remind myself to save money, and the pretty korean paper to remind myself that someone will always be there with me. :)

2/3 of the chio nonsense I bought at Nex last friday.

Seriously I think the tumbler with the colourful hearts is damn chio, can?! And look! Next friday's the 13th! ><

Yup, that's all I did to "my" desk....if I can get my own, I swear I'll cover the dividers and table with [ko]rilakkuma wrapping paper....though I admit the purple dividers look quite nice on its own.

I'm just so lucky to be working in the new building with awesome, fun-loving colleagues. Mr Lim went around the office offering his strawberry oreo cookies to the IOs and ADAs today! How sweet!

If my office is at the old building or the "other side" *coughs extra hard*, I think I won't be able to survive for so long. It's my 5th week working and I'm almost halfway through my employment period. I know I'll miss my colleagues when it's time to pack and leave. :'>

Oh, TGIF tomorrow! I absolutely loveeee dressing down. :D

2012-01-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

Apparently I'm not entitled pay for working OT (based on the temp staff contract GAHHHHH WHY IS IT SO NASTY) which means I might have worked on NYE for nothing. :O I hope that at the very least, I'm able to take paid leave as a sort of "compensation". Haven't decided on which days I'll be taking it though. :/

Praying for good news from my supervisor tomorrow!

shit always happens

2012-01-03T22:07:00.008+08:00

I cried not because I wanted to show how victimised I felt, but because I'd been strong for too long.

Actually I didn't know if I should laugh at my stupidity or cry over my ignorance.

I didn't know how to feel. I guess I'd held back my tears for too long; once they're triggered they couldn't stop flowing. I must have looked hideous with tissue stuffed in my nose in desperate attempt to stop sniffling. :/ Still, I know that if I don't release them soon, I will just suffer from stress attack and eventually die at my desk. That will be considered unnatural death which is disgusting and lame.

I just don't understand why you did that. I guess it's really a dog-eat-dog world out there. It's time for me to learn to be sharper, less nice and to look out for myself. Gotta ditch the "others before myself" policy in the office 'cos I don't want this nonsensical incident of being taken advantage of to happen again. It's disgusting and this shows how much of a person you are, to do such shit to me. Not to mention how gullible and ignorant I was. -_-

The good thing is that there are righteous people out there who stood up for me, and will back me up in the future should the same shit happens. Really thankful for their gestures and pep-talks which were meant to comfort me, but I ended up crying harder; I was so relieved that I'm freed from the ordeal I'd gone through for the past month. The fact that I survived it shows that I'm good and efficient - one who's not paid to look like a flower vase but to complete the tasks on time so as to allow progress. I've been giving my best since I started and you took advantage of it. I'd been too nice for too long and I won't be that nice admin xiao mei mei anymore - from now on I'll not work hard but to work smart.

I'm proud of myself to not have any major screw-ups and to finish my work on time for 99.24828% of the time (not counting last friday's fiasco when you went overboard) despite you giving me a shitload of shit to do (which were sooooooo within my job scope) within my working hours. Actually sacrificed my lunch time sometimes just to finish them in fear that I couldn't answer for incomplete work. fyl.

Don't do shit unto others which you don't want others to do unto you.

couldn't cents it till now

2012-01-02T13:45:00.006+08:00

Mom walked into my room and made herself comfortable on my bed and I thought she's preparing her lecture on how late I've been reaching home these days. Instead, it's more of a prep-talk on handling my finances and I'm utterly amazed by how cool and calm she was when she spoke to me. :O It's beyond me to even wish that something like this would happen, given having a very calculative and pragmatic mom. It was just last night when I shared my financial problems with aloy, and the next day what my mom said totally rendered all those worries irrelevant. I'd misunderstood my mom; she's been feeling more anxious than me about when I'll get my pay, which misled me into thinking she's excited at how much I'm going to give her. Not only didn't she expect me to give her a part of my salary, she even offered to pay for my transport fares and prepaid top-ups! :O My transport expenses on my working days add up to $40 per month, which , trust me, is a hugeee difference compared to the $20+ I used to pay for. I only have to pay for my food expenses, which I have control on (by deciding what to eat). And obviously this makes me happy, 'cos people are happy when they're in control and/or making progress, right? ^^ I can't possibly thank my mom more 'cos it's really sweet of her to take the initiative to come up with a compromise and making me feel like an adult for the first time....and this feeling vanished without much effort when she finished her talk by asking me to clear up my room. -_-

Yup, currently I have:

*4 bags lying on my bed...

-work bag that I last used on friday

-brown bag that I carried on saturday which totally doesn't match my "beach wear" (it's not bikini la, you teekos! I wore a sundress in attempt to disguise that I'm going to the siloso beach party)

-ax bag that I used yesterday (I hope I didn't bring any ants home 'cos it was such a sweet night out ^^)

-MJ bag that I took out of my wardrobe without using LOL.

*along with bags of purchases I made last friday at Nex...

-pink leather book for taking down sermon notes! I'm treating it as my birthday present haha! I've come to realise that I'm less willing to spend on myself than on others...I spent $15 on this and I felt the pinch, but I spent 3 times more on Christmas presents and I felt ecstatic and accomplished. :O

-adorable yet affordable Korilakkuma standing calendar for my desk (subtle hint: I prefer korilakkuma to rilakkuma tyvm :D)

-a super cute tumbler to contain hot water so that I don't have to catwalk down the corridor to get some in the office.

*and stacks of folded clothes which never make it to my closet 'cos I'll keep wearing whatever's on my bed...

*right next to the nasty unfolded blanket. *covers face in shame*

Yup I'd definitely overspent, but that's sooo last year so let bygones be bygones, okay? ^^ Need to execute some serious budget control for the next 2 months! Okay, I shall go watch my mom cook maggie mee without MSG by replacing the soup with yong tau foo. :D Wanted to show it off on twitter and fb but I realised someone's dad can do something similar, so I don't feel as special anymore. :(

update: it's a bad dream. I'm back to square one.

opening night of 2012

2012-01-02T11:47:00.003+08:00

was another awesome experience. though it didn't start off very well (I should have a serious consideration of ditching my phone), but I'm so glad you were smiling and laughing afterwards. (: I have so much to say with so many phrases popping in my mind (as usual), but I can't piece all of them into a proper essay...so I just want you to know that it feels amazing every time I see your smile (and especially when I'm the reason behind it ^^).

oh, those stars were pretty last night. such a sight is what money can't buy. it's a privilege to watch them with you. and yup, your company is priceless (:

keep holding onto that thought, my dear boy. I believe there will be a way for you to achieve it and you parents will be so touched when you accomplished it! 화이팅! (:

calculative

2012-01-02T11:33:00.004+08:00

*Update for previous post* The fare calculator is such an enlightenment! I'm going to take buses and not train+bus to work from tomorrow onwards!

Train + Bus = $0.93

vs.

Bus + Bus = $0.83

That minute disparity in distance actually costs 10cents more...seriously?? And a trip from yck to paya lebar costs $1.63. Wow, gotta really plan my finances now! ><

ERP at my doorstep

2012-01-02T11:03:00.003+08:00

Arrgh, the horror of adult fares:

Adult Fare Structure (Aircon Trunk Services)

Distance	Fare Per Ride (cent)
	Card			Cash
	Current	Approved	Change	Current	Approved	Change
Up to 3.2 km	71	73	2	100	110	10
3.3 km - 4.2 km	81	83	2	120	130	10
4.3 km - 5.2 km	91	93	2	120	130	10
5.3 km - 6.2 km	101	103	2	120	130	10
6.3 km - 7.2 km	109	111	2	140	150	10
7.3 km - 8.2 km	115	117	2	140	150	10
8.3 km - 9.2 km	121	123	2	160	170	10
9.3 km - 10.2 km	125	127	2	160	170	10
10.3 km - 11.2 km	129	131	2	160	170	10
11.3 km - 12.2 km	133	135	2	180	190	10
12.3 km - 13.2 km	137	139	2	180	190	10
13.3 km - 14.2 km	141	143	2	180	190	10
14.3 km - 15.2 km	145	147	2	180	190	10
15.3 km - 16.2 km	149	151	2	190	200	10
16.3 km - 17.2 km	153	155	2	190	200	10
17.3 km - 18.2 km	157	159	2	190	200	10
18.3 km - 19.2 km	161	163	2	190	200	10
19.3 km - 20.2 km	164	166	2	200	210	10
20.3 km - 21.2 km	167	169	2	200	210	10
21.3 km - 22.2 km	170	172	2	200	210	10
22.3 km - 23.2 km	173	175	2	200	210	10
23.3 km - 24.2 km	175	177	2	210	220	10
24.3 km - 25.2 km	177	179	2	210	220	10
25.3 km - 26.2 km	179	181	2	210	220	10
26.3 km - 27.2 km	180	182	2	210	220	10
27.3 km - 28.2 km	181	183	2	210	220	10
28.3 km - 29.2 km	182	184	2	210	220	10
29.3 km - 30.2 km	183	185	2	210	220	10
30.3 km - 31.2 km	184	186	2	210	220	10
31.3 km - 32.2 km	185	187	2	210	220	10
32.3 km - 33.2 km	186	188	2	210	220	10
33.3 km - 34.2 km	187	189	2	210	220	10
34.3 km - 35.2 km	188	190	2	210	220	10
35.3 km - 36.2 km	189	191	2	210	220	10
36.3 km - 37.2 km	190	192	2	210	220	10
37.3 km - 38.2 km	191	193	2	210	220	10
38.3 km - 39.2 km	192	194	2	210	220	10
39.3 km - 40.2 km	193	195	2	210	220	10
Over 40.2 km	194	196	2	210	220	10

Adult Fare Structures (North-East Line and Circle Line)

Distance	Fare Per Ride (cent)
	Card			Cash
	Current	Approved	Change	Current	Approved	Change
Up to 1.0 km	76	78	2	110	120	10
1.1 km - 2 km	81	83	2	110	120	10
2.1 km - 3.2 km	86	88	2	110	120	10
3.3 km - 4.2 km	96	98	2	140	150	10
4.3 km - 5.2 km	106	108	2	140	150	10
5.3 km - 6.2 km	116	118	2	140	150	10
6.3 km - 7.2 km	124	126	2	160	170	10
7.3 km - 8.2 km	140	142	2	160	170	10
8.3 km - 9.2 km	146	148	2	180	190	10
9.3 km - 10.2 km	150	152	2	180	190	10
10.3 km - 11.2 km	154	156	2	180	190	10
11.3 km - 12.2 km	158	160	2	200	210	10
12.3 km - 13.2 km	162	164	2	200	210	10
13.3 km - 14.2 km	166	168	2	200	210	10
14.3 km - 15.2 km	170	172	2	200	210	10
15.3 km - 16.2 km	174	176	2	210	220	10
16.3 km - 17.2 km	178	180	2	210	220	10
17.3 km - 18.2 km	182	184	2	210	220	10
18.3 km - 19.2 km	186	188	2	210	220	10
19.3 km - 20.2 km	189	191	2	220	230	10
20.3 km - 21.2 km	192	194	2	220	230	10
21.3 km - 22.2 km	195	197	2	220	230	10
22.3 km - 23.2 km	198	200	2	220	230	10
23.3 km - 24.2 km	200	202	2	230	240	10
24.3 km - 25.2 km	202	204	2	230	240	10
25.3 km - 26.2 km	204	206	2	230	240	10
26.3 km - 27.2 km	205	207	2	230	240	10
27.3 km - 28.2 km	206	208	2	230	240	10
28.3 km - 29.2 km	207	209	2	230	240	10
29.3 km - 30.2 km	208	210	2	230	240	10
30.3 km - 31.2 km	209	211	2	230	240	10
31.3 km - 32.2 km	210	212	2	230	240	10
32.3 km - 33.2 km	211	213	2	230	240	10
33.3 km - 34.2 km	212	214	2	230	240	10
34.3 km - 35.2 km	213	215	2	230	240	10
35.3 km - 36.2 km	214	216	2	230	240	10
36.3 km - 37.2 km	215	217	2	230	240	10
37.3 km - 38.2 km	216	218	2	230	240	10
38.3 km - 39.2 km	217	219	2	230	240	10
39.3 km - 40.2 km	218	220	2	230	240	10
Over 40.2 km	219	221	2	230	240	10

Adult Fare Structure (North-South and East-West Lines, and LRT)

Distance	Fare Per Ride (cent)
	Card			Cash
	Current	Approved	Change	Current	Approved	Change
Up to 3.2 km	71	73	2	100	110	10
3.3 km - 4.2 km	81	83	2	120	130	10
4.3 km - 5.2 km	91	93	2	120	130	10
5.3 km - 6.2 km	101	103	2	120	130	10
6.3 km - 7.2 km	109	111	2	140	150	10
7.3 km - 8.2 km	115	117	2	140	150	10
8.3 km - 9.2 km	121	123	2	160	170	10
9.3 km - 10.2 km	125	127	2	160	170	10
10.3 km - 11.2 km	129	131	2	160	170	10
11.3 km - 12.2 km	133	135	2	180	190	10
12.3 km - 13.2 km	137	139	2	180	190	10
13.3 km - 14.2 km	141	143	2	180	190	10
14.3 km - 15.2 km	145	147	2	180	190	10
15.3 km - 16.2 km	149	151	2	190	200	10
16.3 km - 17.2 km	153	155	2	190	200	10
17.3 km - 18.2 km	157	159	2	190	200	10
18.3 km - 19.2 km	161	163	2	190	200	10
19.3 km - 20.2 km	164	166	2	200	210	10
20.3 km - 21.2 km	167	169	2	200	210	10
21.3 km - 22.2 km	170	172	2	200	210	10
22.3 km - 23.2 km	173	175	2	200	210	10
23.3 km - 24.2 km	175	177	2	210	220	10
24.3 km - 25.2 km	177	179	2	210	220	10
25.3 km - 26.2 km	179	181	2	210	220	10
26.3 km - 27.2 km	180	182	2	210	220	10
27.3 km - 28.2 km	181	183	2	210	220	10
28.3 km - 29.2 km	182	184	2	210	220	10
29.3 km - 30.2 km	183	185	2	210	220	10
30.3 km - 31.2 km	184	186	2	210	220	10
31.3 km - 32.2 km	185	187	2	210	220	10
32.3 km - 33.2 km	186	188	2	210	220	10
33.3 km - 34.2 km	187	189	2	210	220	10
34.3 km - 35.2 km	188	190	2	210	220	10
35.3 km - 36.2 km	189	191	2	210	220	10
36.3 km - 37.2 km	190	192	2	210	220	10
37.3 km - 38.2 km	191	193	2	210	220	10
38.3 km - 39.2 km	192	194	2	210	220	10
39.3 km - 40.2 km	193	195	2	210	220	10
Over 40.2 km	194	196	2	210	220	10

Thank you TransitLink for the invaluable information. :')

Side-note: I strongly encourage you guys to check out the fare calculator before you get the shock of your life at how fast your ezlink card value depletes. Don't say I didn't warn you.

2012-01-01T14:12:00.001+08:00

Gosh, one of my blisters bursts and the exposed fleshy part (by the torn skin) is in a heart shape! How crazy is that? :O

finale of 2011

2012-01-01T12:05:00.004+08:00

was awesome. Not because of the cab trips, but because of the chemistry (more later). (:

New Year's Eve started out with me sleeping and waking up late ---> having brunch ---> resting at random times in the afternoon ---> rushing to church for service (left house at 4plus which was pretty late) and going up to the audi with Natasha ---> SERVICE! :D

Pastor How preached about Happiness (Part 2) which was a powerful sermon. However, I felt more strongly/impacted by what Christian said after the announcements. He was talking about how we used to need our friend to keep inviting us back to church for our first few services, but now we can say to our friend who brought us here that we don't need them to invite us anymore (even the SMRT train breakdowns won't stop us from coming to church!). At that moment, flashbacks popped up in my mind like MSN windows and I started to feel emotional. I remembered how on my first visit, we met Cedric at the MRT station and had him talking about church and services; how you introduced me to the CG; how you told me you're so glad that I went for services and got saved; how we went for service and went home together after that...and I felt that it would be so amazing if you were there standing beside me, so that I could really thank you for bringing me to HOGC. I still remember what you said to me - you said you want us to go to church and to honour and glorify God together, but where are you now? Is there any way that I could possibly bring you back? I really felt the pain of your absence in HOGC and it was especially strong after listening to Christian's words. Which is why when Pastor Lia led us in worship, I couldn't help but weep, because it's so painful to not see my friend who brought me to church and yet not being there with me anymore... I cried to God, asking Him for answers, asking Him what I could do to get you planted in church once again... The emotions were intense and as I typed the above, tears trickled down my cheeks once again. Yes, this is how desperate, how much sorrow I am feeling right now. I really wish I have the courage to talk to you again, but after the fiasco on Christmas Day, I guess I've lost pretty much all the confidence I ever have.

Okay, I didn't know I've actually typed such a big chunk but yeah, I hope I've gotten my point across..

Yup anyway, I thought the CG would be having dinner at kopitiam (then I would be able to join them for a while), but I forgot that it's NYE so of course they'll go some other place which is more fun and "happening" to hang out. -_- So I said a quick bye to the peeps before rushing to kopitiam, hoping the veg mixed rice stall would have dishes that entice me. Sadly, they all looked so dull and unexciting, so I had to choose between mac and KFC. Decided on the latter 'cos I'm sick of mac, so I found myself ordering and sitting alone in KFC, feeling a bit emo 'cos I was having my last dinner of 2011 alone. How pathetic is that? -_- I was actually thinking about you guys and drafting a blog post in my mind to say how I felt about you all (maybe I'll write that in the next blog entry? ^^) and was just dwelling in my own thoughts while digging into my whipped potato...and the next thing I know, when I looked up, I saw the reflection of you guys approaching my table! :O Gosh, you guys are like ultimate stalkers of my mind (or rather, it's just one of you :D)! 你[们]的出现真令人又惊又喜！At the instant, I really felt like it was a dream come true! It's so amazing to see you guys once again (and especially you). :'>

And I must say, it was utter enjoyment to listen to your conversations. You guys are so cute together haha! ;D Yup, dinner was great with you guys clowning around. :'>

So....I left shortly after they arrived (aww man :() and had a briefing in office before we set off. Basically this is where we traveled to: Mustafa > Marina Bay Sands > Orchard Towers (and slacked in town at some mac with a sweet phone call and some mcnuggets) > Clarke Quay > Orchard Hotel (let's go and 开房! just kidding!) > Orchard Parade Hotel > Clarke Quay (back to the hell of crowds) > Siloso Beach > Home :D

I think the most exciting moment (other than the KFC moment) was to be stuck in the traffic on the highway with the fireworks booming beside me at MBS at 12 midnight. (Are you guys jealous? hahaha! :D) They were freaking huge and magnificent! Even the taxi driver was mesmerised by them! {Eh uncle, shouldn't you be keeping your eyes on the road?} Oh wait, I forgot; out of the 4 lanes, 3 lanes had jams because everyone stopped driving to take pictures of the fireworks. (Yes, I saw drivers coming out of their cars with their cameras.) Almost wanted to follow suit, but what's the point when you weren't there with me to capture their beauty..? :(

Anyway...can't believe my virgin visit to Clarke Quay was actually on the wrong occasion. I had someone else on my mind to go there with but alas! 人在江湖，身不由己。><

It was quite fun to "go out" with JX. Some funny moments:

{At Mustafa, jewellery section}

JX: 你要买金吗？

Me: 买四点金吗？

JX: 好，你给我他的号码，我打给他。

(I think my reply's pretty good. I'm getting good at this. ^^)

{Exiting Mustafa}

JX: 这里什么都有，从食物到电器。。

Me: haha 我要男人！

JX: *looks around* 你要哪一个。。？><

{At siloso taxi stand}

Me: 好想看到他，如果他出现我一定去抱他。

JX: 好，你讲的ar，给我他的电话我打给他！

(Thinking back, I should have let JX call him! Then there would definitely be a chance to see him! ><)

And there were moments that I ka-jiao-ed him and his gf (of course). ^^v Hmph, I'm not a girl that can be pushed around that easily. >:)

Reached home at around 5.40am and immediately KO-ed in bed till 10plus am. And YAY, it's the new year! :D Happy New Year everyone! May 2012 be a blessed year and a year of breakthrough for all of us! :D

family girl

2011-12-31T12:27:00.002+08:00

It's so ironic, isn't it? When I was schooling, I looooved it whenever public holidays fall on weekdays. Now that I'm working and being paid by the hour, I absolutely HATE it whenever this happens. Can't believe it's going to happen next monday again. :(

Still, it's quite a fun day on the 26th. Sis and I planned to celebrate mom's birthday at Chef Daniel's Kitchen but heard from my cousins that Iluma's closed for renovation, so we couldn't dine there. :( BUT I just checked the fb page and the restaurant's not closed at all! It's still beautifully perched on the rooftop of Iluma! Arrrrgh! >:(

We changed the dining place to 日本村 which is a way cheaper alternative. I don't think I want to go there again 'cos the food's not as good as before. I think the best dish was the complimentary salmon sashimi for making payment of >$30 using POSB card. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!

And crap, my face's so fat and my hair's a disaster. :/

In the late afternoon, we had a cousins' outing! Derek bro drove his wife, sis, sis' bf Derrick and myself while Zirui's bf drove her to Marina Barrage! :D It was a perfect day to go there 'cos of the cloudy weather and the strong breeze! It's a shame that the wind's blowing in random directions, so sis' octopus (?) kite couldn't fly. But Zirui's kite Pookey could fly quite high though! :D

It's so crowded there and I hate human floods!

Have to admit that the backdrop was pretty though. :D

Posing with my diminished paddle pop and a grumpy guy who's forced to take a picture with me. ^^v

Kites of all sizes (except big ones), flying at varying heights.

Being dared by Derrick Chua to lie on the canvas mat and I didn't get anything in return. -_- Need to remind myself that not all Chuas are nice... *coughs coughs*

Shots of my cousin Derek solely for entertainment purposes. Can't believe he's 12 years older than me, yet acting 12 years younger than my age. :O

You can't blame me for not being able to tell if this is an octopus or squid.

姐妹们。:D

Group shot! Derrick, why didn't you wear slippers? Hahaha >:D

Went for dinner at Parkway Mall (?) for dinner. Or rather, they had dinner and I had hot chocolate, 'cos I was still full for eating too much sushi earlier on. The shopping centre's awesome 'cos there's a rilakkuma shop! *尖叫* I want to go there next time! :D

It was a well-spent off in-lieu day and I hope that next mon will be just as awesome! I wanna date you but you're always so high on demand, haha. :')

you're being pushy and I hate it

2011-12-31T01:34:00.005+08:00

stop pushing and making me feel so stressed. I'm not desperate and I refuse to make myself appear desperate. If it's meant to be, God will make it happen. No point persistently asking when there won't be a desired outcome no matter what.

update: correction - it's definitely meant to be! What was I thinking? I just need to continue praying and have patience.

one more month

2011-12-30T23:05:00.003+08:00

to my birthday! :D Met up with 2/3 of first row clique Yanting, Lishuan and Hanis for dinner and shopping today! Omgosh I miss them lots and seeing them made me so happy...those scenes of us mugging like mad in the library started appearing in my mind as though I was watching a ppt presentation with sentimental music playing in the background. Coincidentally we wore similar colours - Lishuan and I were in pink while Yanting and Hanis were in red! :D I guess the chemistry between us still exists even after not seeing each other for a month! :D

Had pizzahut for dinner and the last time I had proper western food was with Hanis and Yanting at MFMarket! It was eons ago! I'm so glad that I ordered Aglio Oglio 'cos I was dying to find out how a professionally-cooked one tastes like...and it's not my ~~cup of tea~~ bowl of pasta. It's spammed with olive oil (?) so that the pasta won't be dry, which I don't like. :(

And gosh! I didn't know that Nex is a shopping heaven for pretty clothes! We actually walked past a shop that sells cheap clothes!! Saw a black blazer which I've been trying to find (so that I can match it with my hot pink bodycon heh ^^) and the price's reasonable. (: Plus those clothes at Mango are on sale too....Still, I need to control! Can only spend on myself after Feb! *determined*

Oh, and I had another amazing night last night. (: Really enjoyed your company, even though the time spent together < waiting time. Still, you're definitely worth the wait. (: Was really touched that you're still willing to meet up with me despite having another meet-up after that + you rushing for me! :'> Seriously, why are you always so sweet? You better stop that before you find ants crawling all over you <3

update: can't stop thinking about an Audi wedding car....ahhhhh yanting, it's all your fault! ;'D

rush hour

2011-12-28T23:59:00.005+08:00

Stress level's definitely rising at work, with the year coming to an end and having the need to "clear everything" for the new year. I thought the rush hour would end after I finish correcting my past mistakes (more later) and could take a breather after that, but it's otherwise. It was rush hour the entire day. :O Apparently Audrey will be going on leave on thurs and fri, so she had to prep some work so that I can continue working on them while she's away...and some of the reports came in one hour before knock-off time so she had to rush like mad to get them settled (before she could leave). Obviously she couldn't complete that alone, so I had to stop my work midway to help her, which equates to less time for me to complete my tasks at hand. :( Almost broke down today 'cos of all the half-done and unfinished work I've yet to complete. Plus, I was feeling sleepy so I resorted to listening to music to keep myself awake (which I hope I didn't piss any colleague off 'cos 3 of them tried calling me but I didn't respond)...

I think Audrey was shocked when she discovered that I missed a step in my data entry, and she got even more shock when I told her I did the same mistake for every "WW" data entry that I've done since I joined LTA. :O So I actually had to change some of the data I keyed in for all the "WW" entries (WW stands for Written Warning) that I've done in my entire life, which was a hell lot. :( Common sense tells me that issuing a WW = no demerit points nor fine imposed, so why didn't I change the data?!? What the heck was I thinking, gosh. :(

So I actually spent yesterday afternoon + today morning working at the same thing. :( If not for this crappy mistake, I wouldn't be held back at my work and hence, would have an easier time for the next 2 days. :(

Hopefully work will be smooth-flowing tomorrow...and am anticipating a visitor at ghost town! (:

update: OH YA my shoe sole fell off at office yesterday, so I borrowed Siti's slippers and I noticed I have an amazing talent - the ability to run for the bus while wearing over-sized footwear. xD Wore new shoes today and I have 2 new blisters as welcome gift. -_- My toes are all swollen and some have the skin peeled off (ouch ttm I swear), and I have no idea what shoes to wear to work tomorrow. :'(

no more need for painkillers

2011-12-27T21:15:00.004+08:00

shoulder ache. paper cuts. cuts from using scissors last week. fallen out but growing toe nail. scratches. unexplained wounds that look like milo's bites on my foot. bursting blisters. eczema infections. bleeding lips. bandaged thumb.

but I'm happy, 'cos I know I'm stronger than before. my heart has healed, and that's all it matters.

to be perfect

2011-12-27T20:08:00.002+08:00

found this on leilockheart's tumblr and I especially love #7 and #15. (: I'm waiting for #20 to happen...and it must be an Audi. ^^

after the conversation today,

2011-12-26T23:13:00.002+08:00

can't wait for february to come! so that my birthday will come even faster! :D

hiring

2011-12-26T22:50:00.004+08:00

ROARRRR mom's birthday's just round the corner, which means I need to find ah balling asap for her! Or rather, find someone who knows where to get them! Also, I have 2 bruises at the back of both legs, so I need someone to rub them for me. Yup, I don't rub my own bruises 'cos I prefer people being harsh to me to me inflicting the pain on myself. >< Kay, hope you get the hint hahahaha. ^^

update: my bruises have turned red but mom finds it not red enough. sadistic. :/

2011-12-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

我该停止觉得自己很下贱，因为你也好不到哪里去。

祝你早日能找到属于自己的幸福。

更新：其实有时候我觉得你很可怜。#说说而已

thank you note

2011-12-26T11:37:00.005+08:00

here's a shout-out to the people who spent Christmas with me (and totally rendered my fear of spending Christmas alone unnecessary)! you guys know who you are (even though most of you probably don't read my blog) and you guys are awesome! thank you so much for everything (you know I know what I'm referring to *winks*)! love you guys especially the "christmas tree"! you guys rock on! <3

p/s: yesterday's my best Christmas yet. I felt super pampered haha! ^^ yup, I have a good life. (:

Happy Christmas!

2011-12-26T01:38:00.003+08:00

Awesome experience tonight. Can't say what happened 'cos only ME MYSELF I can know muhahaha. It's really a wonderful Christmas and it definitely feels amazing to spend both Christmas Eve and Day itself in church! My first Christmas services... *tears of joy* :'>

I wanna thank Yanting for coming to church on Christmas! :D First person that I prayed for, and it felt amazing. :D Thank you Yanting for the opportunity! :D

Okay I shall be naughty and watch Project Runway instead of sleeping now. ^^

2011-12-26T01:32:00.002+08:00

You are really very, super weird. Whatever you did was bizarre. I thought you should have known better. I guess I was that insignificant, huh?

Oh well. I prefer to be anonymous.

2011-12-24T15:37:00.002+08:00

i'm having mixed feelings about this. and the fact that i've failed terribly doesn't help at all. feeling like a failure right now, but i have to put up a false front this time. can't believe i actually said that, but yup, i'm gonna force myself and just pretend that things are fine, when obviously deep inside, i know it's otherwise. maybe i'll just stand at some random corner of esplanade rooftop and look at whatever can be seen from there, and maybe, to spend the few minutes before christmas alone, just like that. 'cos i don't think i can face anyone right now.

darn those mood swings. gahhh feel like throwing up now. shouldn't have taken lunch. feeling so weak now and i hate this feeling.

2011-12-24T11:19:00.003+08:00

Wow. Somehow I feel honoured that people "re-used" my words. Nope, I refuse to think that it's coincidence. ;)

More later!

more updates

2011-12-24T10:32:00.004+08:00

I know this "update" thingies look stupid on my blog, but trust me, they will look worse on twitter. Don't wanna flood the timeline unnecessarily, so please forgive me!

update: why do I feel that my message looks like a blog post? darn.

update: doing a 2nd draft and it looks better so far! listening to music helps apparently. :')

update: I'M DONE!!! :D:D:D:D it's gift-wrapping time!

for those who frequently take taxis

2011-12-24T10:24:00.002+08:00

Do take note that ComfortDelgro and SMRT taxis do NOT charge public holiday subcharge, so if you're taking a cab this Christmas and their taxi drivers do, please feel free to file a complaint to LTA and have your statement taken. Do not be victims of overcharging! :) Merry Christmas in advance!

我摆wu龙了；请别wu会

2011-12-23T22:14:00.008+08:00

My gosh, it's reaching the end of the week! And I'm not done with whatever I want to do yet! Gosh I'm really feeling the pressure...not sure if I can deliver by tomorrow. No matter what it takes, be it to lose sleep or skip meals (just kidding! or maybe not.), I HAVE TO FINISH IT. Oh my gosh I really hate to give presents late... and I can't believe I missed out Mr Wu's Christmas present! Gave every single colleague I know (and present) in the office except him. :'( Felt so ashamed; hope that he won't mind a make-up for it!

Feeling so exhausted right now....haven't been sleeping well for the past few nights, especially wednesday night/thursday morning. Slept at 4am and woke up at 7am for work. :'( Can't forgive myself for skipping sleep and yet not being able to finish whatever I want to do on time. What's the point right? Arrrrrgh and this is a rubbish post 'cos I don't have time to edit this entry! Gotta fly and finish my work now! Byeeee~

p/s: I miss you so much! Yet I have no courage to face you, but I'll still need to face you somehow! Right, Gene? ;)

update: Saw those yellow stars and the nostalgia came...wonder if I can ever finish making it...

update: almost doneeee! just the message left (which is the hardest part)! cutting your name out made me miss you even more. :'(

update: note-to-self: this is not a vday present I'm making right now.

time crisis

2011-12-18T22:21:00.002+08:00

gosh! I'm left with only ~~4 days~~ 3.5 days! nooooo can't believe I totally lost track of the time! ahhhhhhhh! *panic mode switched on*

2011-12-18T13:35:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling so faith-filled right now. There's this unexplained joy in me and it makes me feel that I can conquer the world. :)

I'm half-way done with my blog post about the sermon I just listened to! Gotta continue blogging about it after I come back. Have to leave house early for church 'cos I have to "take alternative transport" to paya lebar. -_- Gosh, I'm crossing my fingers that the bus won't be late! See you guys!

Update: apparently the train service resumed before I went to take the train, which was really timely 'cos I got to meet Gene, Elysia and Yue bin on my way to church! :) And I'm so sorry that I'm not done with the blog post (mentioned above) 'cos I have to make at least 20 christmas cards from scratch haha! It's crazy but it will be worth it. :)

打打气

2011-12-18T03:02:00.003+08:00

I think I'm awesome. And you are too. So yay! Let's make it work!

加油加油加油！别气馁，你行的！

We will survive (:

He's with you

2011-12-18T02:06:00.003+08:00

things will get better. hang on and stay strong, my dear. He's with you. God won't give you problems that you don't have the capacity to deal with. let faith arise.

2011-12-18T01:57:00.002+08:00

this is a risk I'm taking, and I'm going all out. if we don't get together, then I guess it's just not meant to be. still, the wait for the final verdict is painful, and I'm not sure if I can handle it at all.

2011-12-18T00:22:00.004+08:00

what should I do? :(

update: why am I feeling so torn apart? This doesn't make sense.

update: note to self: in order not to cry, I gotta shut my eyes. then I'll be fine..

update: things will be better.

uncertainties are back

2011-12-17T23:09:00.005+08:00

It's quite a "happening" day today. I was later than late for my lunch date 'cos the train service was disrupted. It was initially disrupted from newton to marina bay, then changed to from tpy after I alighted at bishan. Thank God for that, 'cos tpy is so far from cityhall! I was so glad that I chose to travel by train instead of taking that stupid bridging service thing. So I was having fun wasting 40 minutes taking the red line, then circle line, and finally the green line to cityhall. :/

Yup, so....we finally met up and talked. I'd actually mentally prepared a script to say, but after listening to your story (and seeing the bigger picture), my mind drew a blank. I was so eager to share with you how I've been feeling this whole week, all those happy scenes I pictured in my mind while at work, all those stuff that I thought we could possibly do together after feb....now the realisation of these wishes feels so distant. Perhaps they'll be just part of a dream, as I can't see all that happening in the near future...

All along, I thought it would be as easy as choosing between a "yes" or a "no", but alas! It's even more complex than I've ever imagined. It seems almost bizarre that I'm actually part of this. Honestly, considering the number of people involved, all those possibilities and uncertainties are freaking me out. The more I think the more terrified I become...and at that moment (when I kept silent for so long), I realised that my feelings are true. If they aren't, I won't be feeling all this anxiety right now. If they aren't, I won't be feeling so scared of losing you.

You are right. Technically you're in a worse position than me, for you have to face greater dilemmas and possibly unexpected changes? Yet you seem so relaxed and I'm here freaking out. It's true that there's nothing I can do, and it's not meant to burden me, but it's hard not to think about it....and it sucks that my job actually allows my thoughts to wonder while I work. I understand that you're telling me all these in advance to protect me, and I really appreciate it. I guess it's better to pop my bubbles sooner than later... Still, it was a tad too overwhelming. I guess I'd simplified matters too much, huh?

Why can't we just live a simple, happy life? We really gotta stop complicating our lives. We only have one life to live; I don't understand why it's human nature to make our lives so difficult.

Distractions cast aside, I really enjoyed service today. :) I had a revelation of what goals to set and I'm working towards achieving them. What can be a better alternative to having unhealthy thoughts than seeking Christ? Gonna prepare my heart for battles and seek God for more faith...really exhausted from all the ongoing drama and it felt good to rest in the presence of God today. :)

Ohhhh and I finally stayed for dinner after service today!! I'm so happy omgosh! :D Had sushi for dinner and then formed the YJ worship team with Elysia, Andre, Jessica and Ian after that. :) Thank you guys for the fellowship and more importantly, thank you God for making this happen. :'>

Tomorrow's going to be another exciting day! Gotta collect my bursary award (yes the ceremony's changed to a family carnival, so I don't have to sit through that boring thing~ wearing the uniform is still a must though), then attend service after that! :D Hopefully the train service won't be disrupted (again)!

One last thing: so glad that I could hold back my tears today. Self-control ftw! :')

2011-12-17T01:36:00.003+08:00

Should I remain optimistic, or embrace the reality?

I'm really afraid that the thoughts I've been bearing are just...imaginary. Judging the way they recur, they seem so unreal, so....unlike me. I know what I want, and I know I won't want to just sit back and let nature take its course, 'cos I believe that if one wants something badly, one has to fight for it. Still, I have absolute no idea how to go about fighting for it. Mentally I'm strong, but emotionally, I'm feeling really weak. I don't want another heartbreak, yet I don't want to give up this chance. It's a tug of war between my mind and my heart - mind says go, heart says no. This feeling's driving me nuts and my instinct tells me to just go for it. Unfortunately my instincts almost always fail me, so should I trust my guts or simply wish and wait for things to happen? I really hate waiting and I wish I could do something about it, but more often than not, doing nothing is the best thing to do. All this incessant thinking is making me exhausted but I have this awful feeling that there's a long way more to go.

work to slack and slack to work

2011-12-16T21:06:00.004+08:00

Yayyyy I'm finally back in the cyberworld after 2 days of break! Apparently my house phone's line had been damaged for quite some time; it's damaged for so long that the technician had to use 2 afternoons to get it fixed. -_- In the meantime there's no internet access, which explains why I was so quiet on twitter recently..

Anyway, the sleep spam totally paid off because I was wide awake and refreshed when I returned to work on thursday (aka yesterday)! :D Upon arrival, my colleagues actually took turns to ask me how I was feeling: Jusri saw me first and he was like "ohhhhh Agnes you're back!" and then Mr Lim asked me “Agnes, 你还好吗？”. After that JX asked me if my medicine given by my doc worked, Dayang welcomed me back with all smiles, Audrey asked me how I was feeling, and Mdm Koh asked if I've recovered. Siti even went over to my cubicle to pat my shoulder and asked me not to get too stressed up! Fauzi's the funniest; he asked me what happened to me on wednesday and after knowing that I was sick, he went "awwww~ poor thinggg~!". LOL ttm; he's dramatic as always. Simon's the worst. He teased me by asking if I made use of my MC to go shopping at Orchard! I wish. -_-

Andddd today's an awesome day at work 'cos my sis visited her ex-colleagues/my colleagues at the new LTA office and we walked to The Roti Prata House with Yoges for lunch! :D It's been eons since I last had prata and being the noob that I am, I didn't try Prata House's prata before. Both of them ordered Onion and Egg and I ordered a Plaster; it's not as fantastic as I expected but it's veryyy crispyyy! Me likeeee crispy prata! (L)

Really enjoyed Yoges' company; love people who can keep the conversation going, yet don't appear too chatty. People who make the effort to ask random yet not unexpected questions to make the conversation interesting and worth having. Seriously, her talking style rocks. :D

Yup, after lunch we explored the rooftop garden which I'd heard nothing of (YES THAT SHORTIE LTA BUILDING HAS A ROOFTOP GARDEN #toocool) and Dayang tagged along......and what could 4 ladies do in a well-furnished open space under bright sunlight? Camwhore, of course! The lighting was excellent and when my sis went to fetch her camera, she asked Mr Teo to come along to be the photographer for us! He's super enthusiastic and professional! Thank you uncle teo! :D

LTA's new building is really green (as in eco-friendly)!

Ah, the gradient on those clouds makes them look like they're painted.

Uncle Teo!! Why you didn't smile!! :( *heart breaks*

Because of all the fun we had, I ended up resuming my post-break work half hour late, so I did half hour of OT in order to finish my work for the day. :'( But it was fun while doing work, with JX giving me a choc muffin (it's originally from Mr Lim I think!) after questioning me about the roller coaster on my desk, and Simon making nescafe coffee for me (O_o). Jusri's taking leave next week so before he left office, he gave out apollo choc wafer bars to the colleagues in BVL division (including yours truly who'd thick-skinnedly gotten 2!). That's one of my childhood faves <3

Jusri's sense of humour is really (Y). He actually asked Mr Lim not to be "naughty"! I was laughing away and he told me the same thing in response, just that for my case, I will not have any more chocolate bar if I'm naughty. #treatingmelikeakid Lol!

Yup, that's all for work this week. Tomorrow's saturday!! Can't wait for my twister fries date! Gosh, whenever I look at your photos I will just melt...Really excited to see you! <3

convicted

2011-12-14T17:07:00.004+08:00

I've been MIA for a couple of days 'cos I fell sick on saturday. :( Felt really awful and was napping in the afternoon when my alarm rang, screaming that it's 4pm. I was contemplating whether to go or not, but know I have to go for service, so I dragged the dizzy me out of bed and struggled my way to church...and it's totally worth it. Garrett preached about the properties of salt - salt flavours, preserves, melts ice, makes people thirsty and brings healing! And it's amazing how on the following monday, my colleagues were discussing about the properties of salt! Mr Lim and JX were talking about it being antiseptic, that it heals, etc etc..it's really amazing that their discussion served as a reminder for me to be the salt of the Earth (Matthew 5:13). :)

And gosh, I have this crazy idea of bringing my friends and family for (the same) christmas service 2 weeks from now!! I call this crazy 'cos I've never brought more than one friend to church for one service before; this time round I'm gonna do it!! I want to share my paddle pop with more than 2 people! Haha. :D

I'm sad, 'cos I practically slept through 24. :( Hate how being sick brings about high opportunity costs. And yup, I'm on medical leave today; Uncle Lai (my friendly family doc) gave me an MC without having to ask for it! I guess my "flu and sore throat combo" is really that bad huh.

Kay, that's all for today...I have this feeling I'm gonna fall asleep very soon but I can't! Sis and her bf are cooking chicken casserole and aglio oglio for dinner tonight!! Don't wanna miss that. :)

one step of faith

2011-12-14T16:44:00.005+08:00

ohmygosh I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it now!!! I want a YJ revival!!

update: please say yes. please say yes. please say yes!!!!

update: It's neither a yes nor a no. But it's okay! I'll keep praying! And hope that my phone won't die on 24th dec!

you can see the eclipse and eat it too

2011-12-11T21:51:00.003+08:00

Picture source: http://iomfg.blogspot.com/2011/12/omg-eclipse.html

Am I the only person on Earth who'd missed the eclipse last night? Gahhhh apparently my mom knew about it through the news but she didn't tell me, 'cos:

ONE. She thought I won't give a damn.

TWO. She thought it can't be seen by the naked eye (i.e. a telescope is needed).

THREE. She thought that even if the above is non-applicable, the moon can't be seen from our house.

Upon hearing all these, I was going "nooooooooo~!" and showing her the "can't-believe-you-didn't-tell-me" jaw-dropped look. Somehow that offended her and she nagged away, mumbling stuff like "there's no need for this reaction" and the likes.

I mean, come on! It's almost phenomenal (although the next one is just 3 years later)! And it's not fair how when I looked up to the sky when I reached home, it was just a pretty full moon. When I signed into twitter (and realised what's going on), I rushed out of my house and the eclipse was nearing the end. -_-

The tweets were tweeted just an hour before I rushed out!! How come the Earth rotates about its axis so fast?? And why must the internet be down in the period between the tweets were tweeted and when I first saw the tweets??

Never mind. It's over. Just hope that I'll catch it 3 years later, hopefully with my loved one. :)

one's happy when one's contented

2011-12-10T12:08:00.003+08:00

I've come to realise that I'm increasingly better at being contented with whatever I receive. Which is no doubt a good thing, 'cos after all, having high expectations won't earn you anything but hurt. It's true that most guys tend to be on the receiving while girls, giving, which is why I especially value every little thing you give, even the time spent to reply my texts. :'>

You know, seeing your happy posts makes me happy already. (: I don't have to be the reason; as long as your life's going great and you're happy, that's all that matters. (:

Side-tracking, work was better yesterday, though the printer and my computer wasn't connected halfway through so I couldn't print the documents. Jusri and JX helped me out, doing test prints and other technical stuff and finally everything's restored after like, 20 minutes? It's really awesome to have IT experts in the office. Thanks guys. You guys rock on. :'>

At 10plus am, Elysia texted me saying Yuebin and her will be visiting me during my lunch break!! It's so crazy to have them come finding my workplace (it's quite ulu/deserted in my opinion) and yup, they didn't get lost which is so cool! We only chatted for 10 minutes which made me feel guilty 'cos they traveled so far just to see me for this short period. Their effort is greatly appreciated and it's a nice "surprise"; thank you gals! :'>

And yup, the new LTA building is pretty well furnished. :) Unlike the old one, which Yuebin described as "haunted". Lol.

Oh, JX successfully got my butt off my office chair (not literally) so that I would have a proper lunch, instead of camping at my table eating butter cookies. Really love the vegetarian food I had and I really don't mind eating that every day. But I know someone will have issues with that (*quote someone* "you need protein!") so yeah, I guess I'll have it once a week. :) Simon's super irritating (but funny) whenever he kajiao people! Ah, I guess I still have quite a lot to get used to (like eating with ~~4 uncles~~ 3 uncles and a guy). ><

And I was so shocked when one of them (can't remember who) asked me if I wanna go zouk out with them! Haha the convo went like this:

Someone (I think it's Johnny/Mr Lim): 你要不要跟我们一起去 zouk out?

Me: Huh..?! *shocked face*

JX: Oh, zouk out as in 不是 zouk out, 我们有operation.

Me: Ohhh...

It's some kind of patrolling thing I guess, but I doubt I can go. Haha.

Anyway, I'm ashamed to say that by 3.30pm, my eyelids were super heavy and I was so tempted to nap at my table! I just rested my chin on the table for a millisecond when JX saw and cleared his throat. -_- Yeah, I know I made myself look slack, but at least I've already done what Audrey wants me to do for that day and monday (yes, 2 days' worth of work done within a day). Kind of regretted sleeping late the night before and it's a lesson learnt. :(

Which is why I slept at 7plus yesterday night (right after dinner!) and woke up at 3plus to check twitter + reply messages, and finally went back to sleep and woke up at 8 plus. My goodness, that's 12 hours of shut-eye. :O

And I'm feeling so unwell now!!! Flu and sore throat is a sucky combo; can't even do that one single all-time favourite activity, which is singing! Gahhhh my voice sounds terrible now. Must be the curry overdose this week and the fried calamari rings last night. ><

Kay it's lunch time and I promised someone that I will have proper meals, so off to find food now! Byeee and have a great weekend! :)

twitter twits

2011-12-09T00:51:00.004+08:00

Getting my ass out of twitter 'cos apparently, people fail to realise that they're being annoying and fucking inconsiderate to flood the twitter timeline all the time. #justsaying

Seriously, FTL.

prom photos...? what prom photos?

2011-12-08T23:45:00.005+08:00

hahaha I shall upload one with the most people in it. Here you go:

HOGC family in YJC! So sad that Elysia didn't go. :(

Note to chew peng and Ian: You call this a fun shot?!? Tsk.

And I was quite shocked (okay, maybe not really) that most people didn't really dress to the prom theme. And the ballroom wasn't decorated according to that too. Tsk. It's quite a disappointment. :(

Andddddd.....almost all the dishes contain fungi stuff in them...and it's not fun at all. I'm allergic to shitake mushrooms, but I still ate them anyway. Heh.
And did I mention that before prom, I was thinking how cool it would be if our prom's held in Hell's Kitchen? And that the contestants would serve sea bass (yes, I only thought of sea bass) to us? Ah, seeing sea bass on the menu is like a dream come true. :'>

Ahhhhh I wanna try halibut when I can afford it.....atas fish ftw!

One last thing before I go: I'm sorry, I can't resist but I have to post this.

My personal favourite. 'Cos it was so tough to ask for this photo lol.

And look how short my hair is now (compared to the past):

My fb profile pic before I deactivated. It was july this year when the tip of my hair reached below my belly button. :'(

Kay, time to go to bed! Yup, JX is right. TGIF! :D

Oh oh oh, and I'm so happyyyyy that we chatted today. You really made my night. (: Can't wait to see you on sat. (:

this is what happens when you didn't check your tumblr for ages:

2011-12-08T21:00:00.004+08:00

Yup, those tabs are still opened now.

p/s: I know I wasn't looking gorgeous nor glamourous that night, but that doesn't give you an excuse not to upload my photo on fb! *sobs*

update: thanks for emailing it to me. :'>

2011-12-07T23:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe the cliche saying is right - 喜欢一个人不需要去拥有他/她，而是要他/她幸福快乐。

2011-12-07T22:04:00.003+08:00

are what keeps me awake at work every weekday. :')

Work's getting less fun and more stressful as more tasks start kicking in. Somehow the piles of paper on my desk has started towering over me. It's really scary...so worried that one day my desk will be left with not a bit of space! :(

As much as choosing what to wear to work is an issue, deciding what to have for lunch is another big headache. I feel that spending three bucks for lunch is really too much. :( I actually ate my leftover breakfast from today and yesterday for lunch...and got "caught" by JX and then Johnny for not having a proper meal. They kept insisting that I'm still going through puberty, so I must eat nutritious food (instead of butter cookies and swiss rolls). -_- Haha what nonsense! I'm already 18 gosh. ><

Anyway, JX tried to psycho me to eat some of the fruits he bought during lunch but failed miserably. I'm sorry man, I'm a really fussy eater (just like his gf - so as he claimed!). Plus I'm not exactly a big fan of papaya. :/ He ended up giving me an energy bar (hazelnut and almond flavoured!) during tea-break instead. Lol.

I really loveeeee my colleagues; they're the ones who make me find doing work more tolerable. :'> I think I'll get fat soon from all the random treats given by them - they range from curry puffs to nescafe coffee, among other snacks. Plus it's really nice to have JX, Mr Lim and Audrey as my neighbours, as they're always looking out for me and making sure that I'm coping well. :'>

Despite the heavy workload, I still find it hard to withdraw from having thoughts of you and a struggle to concentrate during work. At times, I would randomly laugh (to myself) when I thought of the supposedly "sick" jokes we shared, while at other times, I would wish that we are not at this state now, when our progress is hauled to a stop, and with you on your emotional RCRs and the confusion attack hitting me one after another {sorry, this is a terrible attempt to link to pokemon}.

Anyway, still missing you lots and I hope you'd enjoyed yourself with your best buds today. (: So glad that there are others who are better in making you happy then I can. Really hope that we can meet up soon. (:

2011-12-07T00:06:00.001+08:00

I miss you. That's all I wanna say to you, 'cos no number of apology is able to express how sorry I am for forever screwing things up between us.

scream for help

2011-12-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

apparently my sis took her makeup remover with her to taiwan. -_-

helpppppp the unwashed mascara's staining my skin!!! I freaking look like a panda now. :/

oh, it's post-prom by the way. :) It's fun but the company's not as great as sec 4 prom's..but it's okay 'cos I took a few photos and I look ugly in all of them, except for one that I actually look okay in - it's the one I actually care for the most. Heh.

Gosh there's work tomorrow...and I'm not looking forward to walking to LTA after alighting from the bus. My feet are hurting like crap now due to the pressure I placed on my toes the whole night. :( Still, quite thankful that my sis lent me her wedges! Wedges are so walk+jump+dance-friendly! <3 Thanks mad sis. :)

Also wanna thank Jessica for helping me with my makeup. She came to my aunt's house (my house's not available due to the noisy ass) to do it for me!! :D Thanks Jess! :D

Okay I guess I'm gonna go try scrubbing the thingie off my face....if all else fail, I have to buy makeup remover sheets tomorrow. -_-

2011-12-06T13:45:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I went to bed last night without applying the top coat. -_- Talking about stm getting serious. :/

And I'M SO FREAKING MAD AT MYSELF for screwing up at work today. I'm not sure if my memory's getting worse or I didn't have the "mood" to do work, but in either case I'm really disappointed with my performance today. Instead of finishing assignments, I ended up creating more work for Audrey. Arrgh, one missing step and the pile of 80 plus freshly-printed letters is as good as rubbish.

I'm so not in the mood for prom. Other than getting my makeup done by Jessica, I'm excited for nothing later. Instead of sashaying in my prom dress and pretty footwear, I bet I'm gonna literally drag my feet to Mariott later.

And the chicken rice stall ran out of soup!! :'( Arrrrrgh this is a really bad day.

It's gonna be tough but you know what? I'm gonna fight for it 'cos you're worthy; I don't think I'm worthy but please prove me wrong and tell me I'm worthy too. :'(

2011-12-05T23:24:00.002+08:00

done with the third step for nails...one more to go! darn, why am I not an artist? if I am one, painting my nails won't be so challenging. :/

okayyyy....the nails look pretty bad. zzzz I can't be bothered anymore. no one's gonna examine my feet anyway. heh, shall finish with the top coat before going to bed! :)

to go or not to go, that is the question

2011-12-05T21:57:00.003+08:00

I'm not looking forward to prom.

In fact, I'm actually contemplating if I should attend or not. If I go, I may risk wandering around the ballroom alone 'cos after all, other than yanting, none of my clique members are going. Worse, I don't know which choristers are going, so I doubt I have many people to take photos with anyway... Sigh. I guess I can only find out tomorrow. :/

If I don't go, I'll let Mdm Joyce Lee down...she indirectly paid for my ticket. :')

You know what? I'm trying to convince myself that it is unnecessary to splurge for prom. People around me are talking about buying their stuff at whatever place or doing their stuff at which ever place or doing any other atas stuff; all this talk made me feel intimidated (to some extent). I need to remind myself that I need to sacrifice luxury this season! So what that I discovered my savings account has more money than I last remembered? So what that I'm going to get edusave bursary? So what that I'm gonna earn at least $1K a month? These reasons are not good enough for me to splurge for just one tuesday night.

Plus I'm feeling super lazy to doll up for prom. I'm lazy to get my hair done at the salon...and I don't think it's worth it anyway. Arrrrgh, I feel that nothing I spent on prom is worth it, other than the dress which I really really like...and will most likely wear on christmas, if I'm even out celebrating with other people. :x

Now I'm doing my toe nails - first step is done, three more to go. :O Gotta make them pokerface 'cos they're really hideous from all the knocks and scratches (okay fine "pokerface" is not used like that. Whatever.). I just need some colour to hide them since I'm wearing peep-toe wedges. Oh my gosh...should I try wearing the wedges to work tomorrow? Haven't done a trial run yet; I'm afraid I'll lose my balance and fall tomorrow. It will be super unglam!! ><

I need a hot guy for support tomorrow night!! Haha.

And speaking of work...I can't believe Audrey's teaching me how to use MS excel tomorrow! Yes I know nothing about Excel; the columns and rows drive me crazy and they make everything look so ugly. Feel so bad to work for only half a day 'cos I've been warned that there's a lot to do tomorrow...

In case any of you think doing admin stuff is quite slacky (and considering to join LTA...no I don't know if they're hiring), this is what you'll get if you work at LTA:

Most of the papers I've gone through today. Compare the height of the pile with the tissue size. Gosh, I can't believe another pile is sitting at the other end of my table, waiting for me to handle the next morning. ><

It's quite stressful 'cos the work keeps coming in and it never stops. Sometimes, new tasks are already assigned before you finish your current assignments. Plus it requires great caution in keying in all the details in the system as they are not just some slack comments or remarks; they are people's personal particulars. One wrong digit and the letter will not be able to be delivered.

Hence, there's this sense of satisfaction after completing every task, 'cos it's so tedious to make sure that every step is done correctly (and quickly).

Gosh, why did I end up talking about work? One last thing regarding work: I need more clothes!! Apparently my wardrobe is not "office-attire-friendly" so I really have no idea what to wear to work. I only have one pair of long black pants and one pair of jeans (for Denim Friday), so I have to wear dresses for the remaining 3 weekdays. But most of my dresses are casual and are therefore not suitable for work... :'( Guess I need to look out for cheapo pants and blouses so that I won't look like I'm wearing the same thing every day.

Arrrgh I can't bear to spend money on myself during this season...and I haven't find a tuition job for the weekends. :(

Okay I shall stop here or I'll sound like some work machine. Byeeeee.

2011-12-04T23:45:00.002+08:00

yay! so glad you're smiling again. :D

yup, miracles do happen, especially when you least expect it. (:

my first day of work

2011-12-03T19:15:00.003+08:00

Yayyy...I've finally made my way out of my bed. Well, I have to bathe, right? ><

So far, I've clocked 14 hours of sleep today. Yeah, felt quite weak when I woke up this morning and the flu felt like it's here to stay. Spent the day in bed, either sleeping (and being woken up whenever I sneeze, then dizziness started kicking in and I went back to sleep), praying, reading my bible or watching TV. Yup, it did feel quite good to snuggle under my blanket and just let time pass without doing much, but I have to admit it's boring and feels lifeless after a while. :/

I think the highlight of today is to receive texts from you. And folding the remaining origami hearts. (:

Ahhhh I really wanna see you... *sobs*

Anyway, I wanted to blog about my first day of work as an admin assistant at LTA yesterday, but I think I would bore you guys with the details, so... I guess I will skip it and just intro the people there. I'm thankful to have friendly and helpful colleagues and a super nice supervisor who granted my leave on next tuesday (for prom). She didn't even ask why I need that half-day leave...to think that I'd spent days worrying she wouldn't grant it. :'>

Yeah, I love my colleagues. :D I'm partnered with Audrey (she saw me pacing back and forth in the lift lobby and let me into the office) who sits beside me and the other side is JX (who "jio" me for lunch together with 3 other uncles LOL). Dayang sits behind me and she thought I was my sis when she saw me (my sis used to work there). >< My supervisor, Mdm Koh, looked out for me after Audrey went for half day's leave and she asked me to take my time to do the assignments. :'> And there's Jusri, the self-proclaimed IT expert in the office and who teased me when I used up the paper in the photocopier machine. xD There's Johnny and Mr Lim, two of the uncles who I had lunch with and are super friendly. I'm just so blessed to have super nice colleagues like them. :'>

There's a lot to be done 'cos the previously hired person went for a long leave and I doubt that person did much anyway... I finished my work for that day 2 hours before knock off time, so I started working on next week's assignments. O_o I think I'm being too hardworking but after all, LTA hired me to work and not be a bimbo, so yup, I finished handling another pile of documents before I left. It was satisfying and the sense of accomplishment was a great way to end my work for the day. :'D

Rushed to paya lebar thinking service starts at 7pm but it's 7.30pm instead! Yeah, my stm is getting the better of me. :/ Ended up reaching early + having dinner with some of the CG mates and I got scammed at the veg rice stall!! That guy charged me $4 fml. D:

Anyway when someone was saying that Ben and gang are coming to kopitiam (and another said we're not waiting for them), a scene popped up in my mind: the cg's riding the escalator up while you guys were riding down at the same time. True enough, I was so shocked when I looked up and saw you riding down on the escalator beside the one I was on....or should I say, very very glad? :D Did you see me? Did you did you? Cos when I waved at you, you were waving to someone else....

Yeah.....service was powerful, just that ...

You're right. There's nothing we can do about it. I'm sorry.

less than forward slash three

2011-12-03T12:34:00.004+08:00

I should stay in bed. The laptop is becoming a health hazard.

*sneeze*

I wanna bury my head in my pillow, snuggle with my plush toys under my blanket and visit dreamland, where everything works just as I want them to be.

Hope that when I'm awake, my troubles will be gone. Yeah, fat hope but still, miracles can happen. I just need one.

tangled up like spaghetti

2011-12-03T12:04:00.007+08:00

You're in no position to judge my actions, for you don't know a single thing that's going on in my brain. #justsaying

Taking things at face-value, I'm just doing what you did last time, but with more discretion (and with totally different intention, thankyouverymuch). Yes, you saw it, and you had a choice whether to read on or not. Moreover, I did it on a site that you frequent less instead of flooding your twitter timeline (sound familiar?). Be thankful for that! And wow, fancy you telling me what to do. Haha, if it's meant to be hidden, if it's meant to stay as a secret, I wouldn't publish it, no?

Fyi, it was so rude of you to start a text with "walau eh". If you wanna ~~preach~~ make a friendly suggestion, at least start off with something nicer, you know, like a "hi" or something?

I may sound like a fool in that post, but I don't find having those feelings foolish.

Anyway, initially, I wanted to let you come across that post yourself, but I really can't take it much longer. I have to let you know, and I had a feeling I would screw up if I were to text you or speak to you verbally. I know I'm not exactly a good writer, but I think writing/typing it out will have a higher success rate of delivering what I want to say to you.

Come to think of it....why didn't I email you instead? *slaps forehead*

Ahhhh I really want to talk to you but I doubt I can speak properly on the phone. :( I'm so low in confidence right now. :( I want to see you!!! Why did you leave so quickly last night? I couldn't catch up...

I hope I didn't make you feel worse. D:

2011-12-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

I miss you. Yet, I can't do anything about it, other than to visit you in my dreams and constantly bearing the thoughts of you in my mind.

Happy Post-As!

2011-12-01T23:33:00.003+08:00

Feeling like a zombie after watching the remaining 6 episodes of Hell's Kitchen. O_o

OH MY GOSH I'm officially hired by LTA and I'm starting work tomorrow. Gosh, it feels so unreal to end the last exam on one day and start work on the next...anyway it's an admin job and I swear I'll be the chioest OL in the office. *beams*

So glad that I'm done with A levels. Another chapter of life begins tomorrow and I'm pretty excited. :) There's so much to do! Final prom shopping, meet-ups with friends and older friends, pacts to complete and festive celebrations!! Though it's going to be challenging to arrange meet-ups (will be working from 8.30am to 6pm on the weekdays), I promise I will try my best to make time for outings, okay! Gosh, with such busy schedules...I guess I won't be returning to facebook after all. :/

Arrgh my eyelids are feeling heavy and I really need some shut-eye...Gotta wake up early for work! Nights everyone. :)

2011-11-30T22:00:00.001+08:00

Came across this on tumblr, it's so cute!

I miss "The Big Bang Theory". :')

D:

2011-11-30T21:46:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I'm so damn worried. I don't have to receive any message; just let me find out that you're fine! D:

2011-11-30T21:12:00.002+08:00

Felt better after a little tearing. Can't stand the noise at home.

Jiayou jiayou jiayou don't ever give up Agnes!! After this crap you can do whatever you want, including spamming the remaining episodes of Hell's Kitchen!

"If you do what you ought to do when you ought to do it, then you can do what you want to do when you want to do it."

Must. Do. My. Best.

Getting my haircut and exercise on Sunday! :D

2011-11-30T19:01:00.002+08:00

Gosh, everything's just so untimely...

Should I go Hair Journal @ Aljunied on weekends? I'm thankful that it's quite near church. It's like, 16mins walk away.....provided that Google Maps is trustworthy and I don't lose my way there.

If I get the job at LTA, I'm left with 2.5 days to get my stuff for prom!! Noooooo....This is a serious test for my time management gosh. Can't believe I'm facing this stress even after As.

Heard the chattering outside. Oh gosh this is so awkward.

too late for regrets

2011-11-30T16:17:00.001+08:00

Gosh, why didn't this invitation to apply for USP come earlier?? It will serve as a greater motivational force for me to work harder.

Well, it's too late for regrets.

2011-11-30T16:01:00.004+08:00

Can I steal a line from Pirates of the Caribbean?

"Every decision you'd made led us from bad, to worse!"

Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now. Wanted to make your day better but ended up screwing it for you. I feel like a moron to suggest studying there. Goodness. I should have known better.

It's so hard to make someone smile when one is feeling down. I felt like crap and after failing to make you happy, I feel even crappier.

You're probably the person I care the most for, yet I can't make you happy. What kind of friend am I?

I'm the biggest idiot in the whole wide world.

Letter in my letterbox

2011-11-29T19:50:00.002+08:00

Thank you God for this award. :)

no life?

2011-11-29T16:12:00.005+08:00

Yes, as you scroll down, your understanding of how bored I am will increase exponentially. Enjoy!

Taken from Cherlynn's tumblr. :)

1: What's your middle name?

Insane. I think.

2: What are you listening to right now?

The fan going whoosh whoosh whoosh~

3: What was the last thing you ate?

Some white snek that mom passed to me 4 seconds ago.

4: Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

Elysia! Asking me if I'm allergic to almonds. o.o

5: Do you drink?

Nope. I detest drinking anything.

6: Do you smoke?
Nope.

7: What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

Their smile.

8: What is your hair color?
Black turning brown turning white.

9: What is your eye color?
Black. Poor me. :(

10: Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Specs!

11: Dogs or cats?
Dogs!

12: What's your favorite animal?
No preference.

13: What's your favorite television show?
So far it's Hell's Kitchen. :D

14: What's your favorite movie?
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. <3

15: What's your favorite band/singer?
Gaga!

16: How old are you?
Not very old. ;)

17: Do you have a crush on anyone?
Define "crush"?

18: What's your sexual orientation?
Hahaha whatttt??

19: What's your favorite color?
PINK! :D

20: What was your most embarrassing moment?
When I tell jokes that no one understands.

21: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Nope, I'm comfortable under my skin. :)

22: What were you like when you were a kid?
Nasty....naughty...100% spoilt brat.

23: What would your dream house be like?

One with a golden retriever lying at the balcony, waiting for you to come home. Comfy couch in the living room that you can fall asleep just by sitting on it. Mirrored wall at the dining room with a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Windows stretching from floor to ceiling. Small house, yet cozy. :)

24: What last made you laugh?

I can't remember! ><

25: What is your favorite word?

POKE.

26: What is your least favorite word?

Hate.

27: What turns you on?

A cute smile/laugh. :)

28: What turns you off?

BO. Yikes!

29: What is your star sign?

Aquarius!

30: What are your favorite books?

The Bible. :) Oh, my chemistry notebook is also one of my faves.

31: Do you have any siblings?

One mad sis. One is enough.

32: Do you like to dance?

Sure! Freestyle ftw (when no one's looking)!

33: What is your definition of cheating?

When you don't play by the rules..?

34: Have you ever cheated on someone?

Not that I'm aware of.

35: Do you regret anything?

I regret everything. Haha just kidding.

36: Do you have any phobias?

You bet! Phobia for scary laughter, crowded areas (when you feel super violated 'cos every inch of your skin is in contact with someone else's), and very extreme horny guys.

37: Ever broken any bones?

Nope!

38: Ever come close to death?

I don't think so!

39: What is your religion, if any?

Christianity!

40: Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?

Nope, though I want to.

41: Are looks important in a relationship?

Yes. After all, you need to face that person almost 24/7. Good thing that beauty is subjective. ;)

42: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

Dad, unfortunately.

43: What is your favorite season?

CHRISTMAS. The lights <3

44: Do you have any tattoos?

Yup, I tattooed your name in my brain.

45: Do you have any piercings?

Nope. (What a boring person I am.)

46: How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

1.5 and countless girl friends!

47: Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

No, that's silly.

48: Who is your celebrity crush?

I don't think so... I do have celebrity eye-candies though. ;D

49: Are you a virgin?

100%.

50: Do you get jealous easily?

Yup. And it's not news. :/

51: What is your favorite type of food?

Anything soft and chewy!

52: Do you ever want to get married?

If I have to.

53: Who was your first kiss with?

Some douchebag who's not worth mentioning.

54: Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope.

55: What is your idea of the perfect date?

Sitting in front of a piano, with my date playing it. It's been my dream since secondary school...

56: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert during family functions, extrovert when I'm with close friends. :)

57: Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?

The latter.

58: What talent do you wish you'd been born with?

The ability of knowing the ingredients used in a dish just by tasting it. AWESOME.

59: What is your saddest memory?

When my heart is broken twice within 2 years?

60: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No until it happens to me.

61: Do you believe in soul mates?

No. Nothing is forever.

62: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Nope. ^^v

63: Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

Haha more than once.

64: Would you go against your moral code for money?

I don't think I have much morals to begin with...

65: What are three things most people don't know about you?

- I acted as a teacher and treated my stuffed animals as my students when I was young.

- I never had a barbie doll.

- I can never get microsoft excel.

66: Who are you jealous of?

Anyone who is financially independent now.

67: Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

Nope. I sleep with 6!

68: How long was your longest relationship?

Close to 2 years?

69: Is the glass half empty or half full?

It's half-filled.

70: What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Telling me that I'm beautiful when I'm not dolled up.

71: Who is your most loyal friend?
Sabrina <3

72: Are you in a relationship?
Nope.

73: If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Wait till I have one first. ;)

74: Are you a bad person?

Yup! Can't agree more.

75: Are you a lover or a fighter?

Lover...the sucky thing is I don't fight.

76: What did you do on your last birthday?

Picnic with Sabrina and Dolly <3

77: What is your favorite quote and why?

John 3:16. Oh please, this doesn't need any explanation. (:

78: If your best friend died, what would you do?

Nothing. I would probably die before her.

79: If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

Not to start any relationship.

80: If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

Say whatever's on my mind.

81: What is the strangest dream you've ever had?

To be in a washing machine mixing with the clothes!

82: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

How about a little something in between? Nah, just kidding.

83: Who were you in a past life?

And how would I know...?

84: What is your happiest childhood memory?

Whenever there's new clothes, new toys...Whenever my mom bought chocolates and chips. <3

85: Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Maybe?

86: Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

HAHAHAHAHA. How about my plushes?

87: If you were the president, what would you do?

Ask the former president to come back lol!

88: What is your ideal career?

Slacker. ^^v

89: What is your political affiliation?

90: Are you conservative or liberal?

A little of the two?

91: Is the male or female body closest to perfection?

Female. Definitely.

92: Do you like kissing in public?

Well you have to kiss on your wedding day, right? Other than that, no I don't. :/

93: If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?

Less pollution. Anywhere. Everywhere.

94: Where would you like to live?

In your house <3

95: Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Venice before it sinks!

96: Describe yourself in one word.

Awesome.

97: Describe yourself in one sentence.

I'm awesome.

I just wasted 20 minutes doing this. :/

2011-11-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

Ohmygoodness I'm so fickle when it comes to finding jobs! I feel that I'm being too ambitious if I wanna take up at least 2 jobs concurrently...wanna earn as much money as possible. $_$

I hope I can get it I hope I can get it I hope I can get it!!!

Anyway, let's mourn for the christmas tree outside ngee ann city which caught fire last night:

The close-up yet naggy version:

Poor christmas tree :(